Love is in the Air

I am off to the airport for a business trip till Friday and look forward to meeting a very successful and eligible gentleman over lunch tomorrow. It’s top secret right now and will remain rather hush hush. It’s to explore potentially working together and seeing if he likes the Linx approach and what we could offer him. I’m super excited!

This week has been extremely busy per usual. I just wrapped a great date coaching session with a bright and eager young woman. We chatted about artfully preparing for dates and subjects she can discuss with ease and passion. She’s super fascinating- very smart, super well rounded, and very warmhearted. We interviewed a family centric, kind, and super smart 32 year old female yesterday. She splits her time between Manhattan and the Bay Area. Really impressive.

This week the emails have continued to pour in at an astonishing rate. I get hundreds of inquiries day for matchmaking and keeping up with the deluge of requests is a new and fun challenge. The casting we are having in June for females who have submitted information to meet the male VIPs is officially sold out and the casting we are hosting July 11th and 12th is booking up quick.

Next week we have a very handsome VIP male coming on board which I am super jazzed about: CEO, good looking, Ivy educated, and much more. Stay tuned. Do you have have dating or love related questions? Email me at amy@linxdating.com I would love the chance to blog about your question and my response keeping it super anonymous of course.
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Entrepreneur Lessons

I thought this week would be sort of a chill one. My assistant is in Japan right now and with her being away I dialed back the typical high volume meetings we normally have for a little less intensity on the work front. Maybe a week off? Think again. This week has been one of the busiest ones in ages and I swear I say that each week to myself as I huff and puff in the bathroom getting ready for work thinking how could it get any crazier but really this one is major.

My days seem to start drifting into one another where I tell myself I need “more hours” in the day to get stuff done. When an email and call comes in I wish I had twenty fingers to quickly respond to the deluge of emails and calls. I used to never be a morning person, in fact growing up I had a true disdain for mornings. I was *that* kid in school who loved faking a tummy ache so I could sleep a little more.  I was also that kid who loved sleeping in and then mom making me ridiculously delicious stacks of homemade pancakes smothered in butter and rich Aunt Jemima syrup dripping off and playing a little hooky.  What’s wrong with a little vacation and play day with mom? Those were the days!

Now with the demands of my job and Linx truly being on the so-called map in a huge way, my previous repulsion of morning has started to drift away as I evolve as a founder, small business owner, wife, and mother to our pup. It has actually been our dog who has helped shift my body clock to become more of a morning person. He wakes up at the crack of dawn stretching and giving us the sweetest little puppy kisses ever. It’s feeding time and game on for him!  While that is my husband’s job, I can’t help but sort of toss and turn by his affection and the fact that my two favorite guys are already wide awake. Morning Sun by Edward Hopper

I used to do the majority of all client interviews in the later afternoon hours and evening hours. Bang three out in one night, last interview with new client ending wrapping at 10:00pm in my old office in Palo Alto. I’d do my personal notes from my assessment of the interview and then deliriously cruise home for dinner at 11:00pm most week nights. It just wasn’t healthy nor balanced in anyway. I had truthfully always believed my clients wanted evening hours since they were all busy professionals working during the day. I’ve learned in my business lessons of running my company, when it comes to matters of the heart people will do what it takes to carve out time for themselves at any hour of the day for a meeting with me. Morning. Noon. Night. It doesn’t matter.

My sacred time has now become the silence of the morning with the sun rising. The occasional car passing by, the birds starting the sing their songs, and Peninsula Cal Train’s faint horn sound in the distance. I actually now really enjoy doing morning meetings. In fact, I love wrapping my client interviews by 2:00pm so I can have time to reflect on notes and then get to emails in the afternoon. Ironically I find my mind is a ton sharper and I’m more “on” in the morning. I’m ready to go, excited for the day, and can hardly wait to get to start discussions with my first client. For an entrepreneur in Silicon Valley it is a complete rush of endorphins and a massive satisfaction of absolutely loving being a passionate and innovative entrepreneur here.                    Coffee by Richard Diebenkorn

Last night I worked with a prospect by phone quite late as he doesn’t like computers and does everything he can to get away from them. I had sent him his Linx application and other materials to get started on weeks ago and in our call last night before today’s big meeting he admitted he was *that* kid at Stanford who waited till 12:00am to complete his homework for that day. Some things don’t change. I’ve learned that not every new client is the same on many fundamental levels. As a CEO you have to be nimble and adapt to what he or she might feel more comfortable with.

I had a very long day yesterday and luckily sweated it out some at the gym which I really needed (blog post on that coming soon) yet was not as nearly prepared as I always am for today’s meeting since my client had not sent me ANY of his materials. I acted quickly and responded to a way I knew he would appreciate. I took am hour and a half on the phone with him dancing through my database and application questions in an effortless way for him. He was more than happy to share everything on the phone and will do the same in person today but just having to fill out forms isn’t his thing. I get that. If I had been too rigid about my standard methodology and forcing him to do it my way, I would have absolutely lost him as a potential amazing client. In fact he texted me the other day saying “Are you sure you aren’t from New York?” I wrote back saying, “Why, cuz I work all the time?” He said, “No cause you are so persistant…and that is a good thing.” I smiled. As a former Wall Street financier he respects my drive and creativity too where sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

Luckily we went through all of the important points I need in order to represent him as a client last night. Now it’s a new day and the birds are chirping. The sun is slowing rising and there seem to be more cars buzzing by on this Friday morning. Maybe families are getting out of dodge at 5:30am before everyone else for the holiday weekend. As I reflect on this blog entry I can’t help but smile. I watch as my pup is asleep in front of me and laugh as my husband is at a kickboxing class right now (talk about a maniac..blog entry for later on that one too!). My stomach is starting to rumble. I can’t help but crave those pancakes with gooey and totally artificial fantastic syrup. Pancakes by Wayne Thiebaud

The artists selected here: Hopper, Diebenkorn, and Thiebaud reflect some of my favorite contemporary artists. Interestingly they each had an influence on one another.

Time to Get Social | Launch Party for LivingPlug

A new venture in San Francisco called LivingPlug is having a launch party on Thursday May 30th at 6:30 at Reed & Greenough (3251 Scott Street). There will be an open bar plus lots of young professionals in attendance. This is not a Linx event but a cool concept and an event we thought you readers would enjoy hearing about. 

LivingPlug has set out to redefine the ubiquitous duplex electrical outlet. Seeing an opportunity to improve on overall aesthetics, child safety, energy efficiency and antiquated functionality – they have developed a beautifully designed plug and play solution that addresses all of these issues. http://kck.st/1923I0t

 

Keeping the Romance Alive!

After a couple of years of marriage, it’s easy to fall into a rut. You’ve gotten what you set out for: the ring, your dreamboat and the title of Mrs. You’re off the market, so who do you have to impress? You’d rather spend your resources on building a family and/or focusing on your career, but making these your sole focus and not making “you” time can lead to bad habits. Style is often a big part of this rut women can fall into…sometimes it’s just not a priority now.

If children are in the picture, you’re dealing with even more challenges: lack of sleep, weight fluctuations, saving for college and most likely covered in drool, snot, sticky fingers and goodness knows what else. Can’t help but think about this scene from Baby Mama.

When it comes to keep to keeping romance alive in your marriage, something many of us struggle with, I was asked by Tog + Porter to share in my ideas considering I am approaching 5 years of wedded bliss.

I wanted to do this piece because it is something I can relate to all too well. I’ve been married nearly half a decade now which is crazy considering it has flown by so quickly. We both work insanely long hours, typically 7 days a week. This means it is all too easy to get caught up in work and distracted in the constant deluge of emails and work stress that it can begin to really “chip away” at the romance that was once so present in the early stages of married bliss. I guess they call it the honeymoon period for a reason!

I think it is really important to remember the simple things in your marriage. What originally brought you both together. What the glue was that linked you together? No matter how chaotic our days are, we always remember to say “I Love You”- even in a text message during the day. Leaving a post-it on one’s morning coffee can be the sweetest affirmation that you love your honey and life is good. I am also a huge believer in date night.

Tog + Porter stylist Camilla Basse says, “I am constantly hearing from clients that when it comes time for date night, they either don’t have any appropriate attire, or they don’t feel good in what they do have. That is often the starting point on helping Tog + Porter clients build their wardrobes. We run through all of the possible date scenarios and put together entire outfits accordingly.  They love knowing that no matter what occasion may come up, they will always have a no fail outfit at the ready and will feel GREAT when they put it on, which is all important when you are keeping the romance alive.”You’re balancing a lot, you have a crazy schedule, we get it. You should feel good in your clothes and they should portray the women you want to be, so you can concentrate on the really important things like checking in with your spouse or your long-term beau.

A good example of our typical day was last Friday. We were non-stop meetings, calls, and running all around doing our things. We both got home around 6:00pm and my husband was about to go do something else, the puppy was barking, and I said ‘Honey, let’s have a glass of wine together and just sit here and catch up.’ I opened a bottle of wine and we just shared that important couple time to catch up and just get to baseline. Remember the emails, texts, calls coming in can all wait. Take the critical 45 minutes to give your honey that check in, support, and love. How was your day? Laugh. Listen. Focus on one another.

We transitioned from chatting in our living room to throwing on a simple little dress for me and cute jeans/dress shirt for him and walked to grab dinner. No worries of traffic or even needing to get all dolled up. We held hands. We laughed. We broke bread together. He indulged me getting frozen yogurt after dinner even though he hates it. We strolled around our little suburban street together gazing in windows. For us it was the perfect easy date night that felt good to connect emotionally and to remember to slow down. Guys are visual, so appearance IS important, even after you’re married. You don’t have to be dressed to the nines 24/7, but it’s important to make some effort every day, not just for your hubbie, but for yourself as well. There are up and downs in every marriage and the reality is it takes work. One of the ways to keep you and your honey continuously growing together and renewing your love is by keeping the romance alive and its nearly impossible to do this if you look and feel frumpy.

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Whirlwind week!

Monday and Tuesday of this week consisted of over 20 interviews of women who had submitted their info to meet our VIPs. These screenings give me a good read on any “standouts” who might make an exceptional match for any client of ours who has given me the authority to search everywhere for his match. Each week I get hundreds of submissions from women who are single, searching, and want to apply to meet a VIP. We hold regular castings to interview the ones we feel might have that “it” factor.

This week we met such impressive, candid, intelligent, and really “have their sh*t together” sort of women. Unfortunately we can’t represent everyone we meet but are currently in the process of selecting a few gems who are excellent matches for our current clients. The other lovely women, who graciously took time from their busy lives to meet Aimi and I, who are not a match for someone at this exact moment will remain in the Linx database. We encourage everyone who is not a match right now to check back in a couple of months. This is about “inventory” – supply and demand.

Today I’ve received a ton of “thank you” emails from the various candidates we met.  They really made me feel good about what we accomplished and I would like to share some of the excerpts here:

You guys have great energy and I giggled all the way home:)

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share and converse with you.

It was truly a pleasure! You ladies are very classy and truly know your stuff!

Sometimes dating can be difficult, stressful, and even depressing…I really appreciate your insight and perspective, thanks for sharing some of your tips.

Today I did a photo shoot with celebrity photographer Justin Coit who shot my Vanity Fair photo shoot back in August 2012. Justin is extremely talented and mostly does celebs in LA (including a lot of work with Rachel Zoe)…so getting him (with his assistant of choice named Pepe) to fly up to the Silicon Valley for the day is beyond lucky.  Check out Justin’s blog entry about the Linx shoot for Vanity Fair…http://justincoit.com/vanity-fair

The story is for a European magazine called MYSELF which is a Condé Nast publication. A journalist named Anne Philippi who is a former writer for Rolling Stone and GQ flew up from LA a few weeks ago to spend after afternoon at Linx getting to know me and the unique cottage industry of matchmaking in Silicon Valley.

From the shoot today…this is my hubbie’s shot he got quickly in between Justin’s. Peplum dress Ted Baker and semi precious necklace from Bella Rosa in Los Gatos. Pepe next to me with light diffuser. Priceless.

My morning started bright and early with hair and makeup at my house.  Today, my hair stylist, Jaye, added temporary extensions for the shoot which was fun….extra hair is heavy to “carry around” on your head all day!  Makeup was in a similar elegant style to VF thanks to Bianca. I headed to downtown Palo Alto to Cafe Epi (had never been) on University where I did a quick change of clothes (according to what Justin suggested I wear for the first look) and followed his guidance. Thank goodness celebrity stylist, Hasti Khashfia, pulled together some great looks for me with less than 8 hours notice by me. Hasti styled me for VF and works regularly with Randi Zuckerberg.

We spent over two hours on University Avenue getting shots of me walking, fake talking on the mobile, fake typing on the computer, and sipping a nonfat cap (while drooling over the yummy colorful macaroons he bought for the shoot.) In the middle of some shots, his assistant Pepe squealed all of a sudden. He had been so quiet up until that point. I inquired what happened?! Get this…apparently some elderly man had walked by and pinched Pepe’s derriere while Pepe was holding a photography umbrella to diffuse the strong outdoor light! Who honestly knew SUCH scandalous behavior happened in the broad daylight in Palo Alto, on University Avenue, outside a cafe…from a man in his late 70’s no less! Wowza! I guess Pepe was flattered? 😉

Afterwards we followed my husband around town in our separate cars trying to locate some great views of the Silicon Valley for a second round of afternoon shots and we decided the Stanford Dish would be best. We all took an hour break and then reconvened there.  Pepe met me at the base of the Dish and literally was my sherpa, carrying a garment bag and tote up the massive hill to the second location that Justin had found. What a gentleman! Picture me schlepping up the vertical climb in sneaks with my extensions and outfit on and Pepe hunched over with my crap.

Breathless, we arrived at the top of the peak and the guys found the optimal light and angle for a new series of gorgeous photos. It’s a little challenging, let me tell you, having to do a clothing change in broad daylight with strangers trekking up the dish with googly eyes wondering “what” is going on. I owned it and just rolled with it not caring if a teenage boy with his mom saw my exposed bra or awkward facial expression of a hee hee hee yeah this is me in nature changing into a dress here right now so turn your head thanks. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gots to do…right?!

Justin is such a great photographer and director because he makes the experience painless and guides you. It is effortless and becomes much easier to get through because of his skill, direction, eagle eye, creativity, humor, and professionalism. One of Justin’s pictures unreleased till now from the VF shoot in August. Look at my stunning girlfriend Renee in black and the legs on the gorgeous guest next to her!Another Justin Coit pic from the VF party. My husband looks too cute! And my pic Justin took from the VF shoot in August….love the richness of all the colors. Dress is Ted Baker styled by Hasti Kashfia

Tomorrow we have more footage we need to get for another media piece with ABC News 7. I have arranged for my client George to have a coffee date in the morning with a lovely Danish woman who has graciously agreed to participate in this piece. After that wraps, I need to catch up on emails big time….being away from the office doing media projects makes the emails pile up on one another.  Friday I have a new VIP coming on board, which is fantastic. If the weather permits, I think we’ll do our meeting over lunch al fresco.

My days are literally never alike and there are always a wide range of emotions as well. From one couple that is elated at meeting one another reporting back with rave reviews for feedback, to not so great news like breakups. I really feel my clients’ pain when they go through hard times and sometimes end their Linx relationships. I think breakups are definitely one of “the” most difficult aspects of my job that I never look forward to – especially as I am always rooting on the sidelines as their biggest fans when they are coupled up.  It’s kind of like I am breaking up with them if that makes sense. We’ve so invested in this process together.

Now I can’t wait to kick my feet up for the night and just spend time with my husband and son (pup) whom I feel like I’ve been neglecting this week. We call it parachuting in and out of the home life. This week I’ve been so tethered to work that I have been parachuted out of my family time for a lot of it but luckily for me have parachuted back in…at least for tonight to catch up on those nearest and dearest to my heart.

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What some members are saying about Linx….

I read through your dating tips– all brilliant and affirming of my approach already, so that’s great!

It thrills me to see entrepreneurial women like you succeed – and you’re so nice on top of your business savvy!

I know you said “let it percolate for 72 hours”, but that’s about 70 hours more than I need.  I was impressed with you and am comfortable working with you and your approach.  I will be ready to move forward when I return, assuming you feel likewise.

Thanks for taking the time to meet with me today, and please pass on my appreciation to Aimi as well. While it may sound trite, fingers crossed.

You’re my ‘love finding angel’ – you make the call – I always trust you 🙂

Beyond happy and so excited for our life thank you for finding my amazing husband I am so grateful I found him every single day. We are super happy and so incredibly excited for our life to start.

On the road this week, slightly nervous but ready to try….

Big news… don’t really want to go into details just yet, but life is great. 😉

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This Week in Perspective

Holy moly….it has been non-stop here…been a little delinquent in my regular blogging. The phone is ringing off the hook, we’ve seen tons of clients and prospects at the office this week, and heard some great news about some of our couples…getting engaged in the near future and others… the faint sound of wedding bells in the distance with the wedding date set!

I‘ve had the pleasure of meeting some total dynamo new clients this week and prospects who are soon to be new clients. One prospect brought a lovely bottle of wine sharing that she felt she was arriving to “my house” and thus a little hostess gift. Sweet, thoughtful, and kind….

The energy around here is enthusiast, vibrant, and super positive. Linx clients are feeling energized and it seems like readier than ever to find love this summer. We are experiencing a high volume of women applying for memberships and have instated a wait list as such for new premium female clientele for a few months so we can focus on our current client base. The good news is lots of uber desirable men are knocking on our doors. A surge in quite attractive, mid  to late 40’s, very successful, and divorcees seem to be a current trend. That demographic makes a great new member at Linx for us! His blueprint is that of family and marriage. He’s been there before and desires that again! Getting ready for a new client appointment. Gluten free maple cookies on a silver tray. Heels off, running around the office. R & B streaming today.

The Silicon Valley remains a hot spot (despite lots talking about an exodus of people/companies heading from the Valley to San Francisco for living/positioning company headquarters there very reminiscence of the dot com boom) and I am contacted nearly every single day by production companies in LA to discuss my own TV show. I’m not saying never. I’m not saying yes either.

Is the Silicon Valley becoming the new Hollywood 3.0? Look at what the talented Randi Zuckerberg is doing with her production company Zuckerberg Media. Do you think Hollywood should infiltrate Silicon Valley? What becomes too much at a certain point?

I always learn so much from my clients. Sometimes I hear really depressing stories about my clients lives, other times stories that are completely inspiring. In one day it can go from a meeting starting with clients eyes welling up in tears speaking about their past, to another meeting filled with excitement and jitters about finding a new love.

My days are spent doing a lot of listening and trying to always be as empathetic as I can. It helps having gone through “crap” in my time and working a lot to further enhance my emotional intelligence. From commitment phobes, to cheaters, to plain mean jerks…I’ve experienced a lot in my many relationships prior to my marriage.  Of course, there have been some truly amazing good, genuine guys I’ve called boyfriends in between the occasional naughty black sheep. Relating to my clients and in many cases having been in “their shoes” makes this process much more understandable for me and comfortable for my clients. They like that I “get them” and that the Linx process is approachable and relatable.

One of our new Linx members wrote me something today after our client interview, “thanks so much for taking the time to get a good read on me. Your powers of perception leave me in awe.”

We have a very busy next week with a sold out casting screening women for our clients and a photo-shoot taking place for a European magazine (equivalent of Elle). The photog is flying up from LA on Weds so if you happen to be around University Avenue in Palo Alto, I will be there somewhere with him getting shots of quintessential Silicon Valley. Lol. Never a dull moment in the world of Silicon Valley’s matchmaker.

It’s all about the necklace!

It girls everywhere know that being on-trend and current means standing out from the crowd with a showstopper necklace. I always advise my Linx lady clients to be bold and accessorize their date ensembles with a statement piece. A necklace doesn’t have to be expensive at all. In fact, you can browse ebay to discover fierce necklaces for under $10! Let the jaws drop…especially on a date!

Dolling it up….Kentucky Derby Style

The Kentucky Derby is a time honored tradition and there will no doubt be an abundance of viewing parties this weekend.  Whether you are attending a party or one of the lucky ones who will be at the actual derby, you must be outfitted accordingly.   

The San Francisco Guardmen are throwing a fabulous derby inspired soiree called “Run for the Roses” on May 4th from 1:00pm-6:00pm at 1 Fort Mason in San Francisco. Guests of this private soirée will enjoy a delectable spread of appetizers and traditional southern food, while all proceeds will go to benefit at-risk Bay Area youth.

There are a several routes you can take apparel wise, but we all know that it’s all about the hat. Wide brimmed solid hats, adorned hats, fascinators, and fedoras are all solid choices.  Choose the one that compliments your personality best. We suggest picking the hat first and building your outfit around it.

We found two great collections of Kentucky Derby hats, one from JenniferDawn84 (pictured above) on Polyvore and another on PatterPulp.

A wide brimmed floral adorned hat with a solid color dress and spectator heels is sure to be a crowd pleaser. 

If you opt for a floral dress, we recommend keeping the hat simple and solid. For a gender bender twist (and our favorite!), try a seersucker shorts suit paired back to a panama straw hat.  

Need some derby day inspiration for your guy, we love this photo from the art of manliness.

If you don’t feel like heading to the Guardsmen party, throw your own last minute festive soiree in your backyard or apartment complex pool-side. Southern Living has some great Derby inspired ideas and delicious recipes to play with. 

Call  your best girls over for either a girlie day with hats, heels, and mint julep drinks or get consider getting creative having each of them bring a single guy as their guest. Dolly as they say….let the races begin! 

Written by Camilla, celebrity stylist for Tog + Porter with creative dating ideas from Amy Andersen of Linx Dating.

 

It’s a timing thing…

I am definitely a big believer in the “taxi cab light” theory in analyzing and studying the dating game – especially for how men behave.

When a man is ready to find love, his taxicab “on duty” light is on.  In observing the male species, it is a short window of time from the moment the light is on to the moment it is off.  In that time frame, he is searching for, and desiring, a woman with whom to fall in love. It is his time and we all know darn well, it’s a timing thing. It is either a man’s time to get serious about finding the love of his life or NOT.

It can be extremely hard to navigate these waters without a life preserver when you are dating on your own. To add to the complexity, it is really hard to map out which guys have their “light on” and whose might be turned off but he is still out their playing the dating game casually and in “hook up” mode versus “wedding bells mode.” I know what this is like because when I was in my twenties (like a year ago lol kidding), I found it particularly hard to decipher which of the guys in whom I was interested would end up being casual, right here, right now, versus long-term.

In running Linx, I can’t even express how interesting it is to see some men who have been prospective clients of Linx for many (yes, MANY) years now FINALLY pulling the trigger.  It’s a timing thing and their taxi lights are bright, on, and blaring out to the world. This prototypical male has dated a fair amount, gotten the casual hookups out of his system, and it’s game on, with it all now just being a matter of how to find HER in a sea of contenders.

Another observation is that men seem to also need to feel that there is harmony in their professional careers to be ultimately positioned to find love. If his career is unstable, it is not his time to get serious about love. When his career is in a good place and he’s sick of the random hook-up, that is his time.

My best advice to women is that you cannot legislate outcomes and force a man to be ready.  All you can do is consistently put yourself in position to meet those guys that ARE ready and to put your best foot forward when you do so.The intoxicating smell of fresh fragrant garden flowers at the Linx offices. 

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.” 
-John Lennon

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