Month: January 2013

Linx Evolving

At Linx we are change agents and trend setters. We believe in the importance of marching to the beat of your own drum and constantly evolving as a human. In dating, it is healthy to recognize that dating is a skill and often a learned skill. It is also important to admit that you can always improve. By that same token, to recognize when it is time for a small change. As small as a new hair cut sometimes or a candid conversation with a married friend to learn how he/she approached dating back when. Getting additional inputs and data points are so important to achieve the goals that you want to achieve in your personal life.

Today I made the slightly impulsive decision to paint part of my office. Change is a healthy thing and a source of future inspiration. I had been wanting to paint my white desk in my study a crimson red lacquer for a big change but after consulting with my painter who I have known for years, we agreed to paint part of the study in a deep red wine color with a satin finish. Here he is priming the nook with a grey paint before he begins coating the walls with red. If you don’t prime  a wall with a grey paint before you do a color like red, you will be very sorry he told me. A grey primer allows for less red coats on the wall. I can’t wait to see the finished product! San Mateo-20130110-00755

Lessons Learned from Business | Mantras in Dating

I have had quite a few emails from China from a source (with a Western guys name) asking to help in the request of working with a 20-something Chinese girl (based in China) to locate her a Silicon Valley billionaire, yes b as in billionaire. The guy who has been emailing me says he is represented by her family or something like that and I have always suspected that something doesn’t feel right with this whole thing.

One day out of the blue, I got a business contract sent via email to sign a deal with them when I don’t know ONE thing about this girl or her “type”  (let alone any information about her “dating agent”) other than she needs a billionaire because her family is deep in the political scene or some crock of you know what like that.

I ignored that email and then another one came today asking to move forward. I had suggested when I was in Hong Kong back in the Fall that this so called agent for the girl and I meet up at a public spot like a coffee shop in Pacific Place or something like that. He didn’t respond till much later and then said it was because his wife had a baby and he was needing to take care of the baby. Don’t most wealthy “elite” people have help and nannies to be there for the kids?  Even if the agent is not “elite” by Chinese standards, chances are the duty of a mother is to be with the baby and not the father.

My email response today was straightforward telling this guy I am not interested in doing anything with them. I feel the behavior doesn’t add up and net net, it is not ethnical. In other words, no thanks.

On a daily basis, I get so many business requests from media, other aspiring matchmakers to “team up together”, and of course hundreds of inquires from new friends of Linx about being a VIP, meeting a VIP, and much more.

With the constant excitement of running Linx and sheer intensity of what that major responsibility really means, I always remember to go back to “base line” and remember my original business mantras for when I first started my company. I do this to deal with situations like the wacky email from China today.

Be nimble, act decisively, be intelligent, follow your instincts, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity), forge ahead, be optimistic, be kind, persevere, don’t get caught up in the drama of it all, be compassionate, listen, listen more, and never shy away from saying no.

I say NO a lot at Linx for a variety of reasons. No, this is not a good fit. No, you are not being realistic with your expectations. No, I don’t really think you trust my intuition. No, we actually don’t use algorithms here. No, I don’t have a large staff. No, you are not ready for matchmaking and need some date coaching. No, your outfit if not date worthy.  No, I don’t have the bandwidth to represent you right now. No, I can’t meet after 7:00pm as I am trying to achieve balance in MY life and have a so called “life.”

Last night I received another email from a lovely sounding woman at Stanford asking if I was “for real.” It really caught me off guard wondering WTF. She explained that up to this point, we have only been communicating via email and as such, am I am “legit business.” I was exhausted after a very intense day of VIP client meetings in San Jose, calls, and conducting a mock date in Menlo Park. I wanted to write her and say, “Actually, you called me on my sh*t. I live in Nigeria and this is a total scam.” but I didn’t.

Humor is essential to run a business like Linx. I had to laugh and be like WHAT is she thinking. Sure, she is doing her so called due diligence but seriously? Acting on that initial instinctual response is sometimes not the right thing to do. Like anything in life, let it simmer and wait to respond for at least 24 hours before you do so. Instead of writing something goofy (which even through I felt like doing but never would have actually done), I knew I needed to wait to respond till the next day. Today I will write something sweet and nice explaining how I am not a scam or robot in Africa wiring money into some shell account and instead a little business owner housed on a historic property in Menlo Park. Hasn’t she read any press on Linx? Hmmm.

Life is full of some of the most twisted ironies. The world is also VERY small. This has played out many times this week. I hear and see so much and not to toot my own horn know a lot and know a ton of people. Ex’s couple up with other ex’s of clients, he dated her, she dated him, she had an affair with his friend, the list goes on. Sometimes in hearing all of this, I need to just go in a cave for a bit. Another lesson of being a good business owner is learning to shut off/down at times. Last night after the absolutely good yet taxing day, I simply had to shut off my laptop. Usually at night I am banging out email after email. Saying No to more emails is OK. It allows one to recharge and do the good old reboot if you will mentally. You will be stronger and ready for the next day.

Interestingly, all of these principles and lessons of business ownership apply to your dating.

Be nimble– in dating you need to be resourceful and wise about how you approach the so called scene.

Act decisively– If you say you will go out, go out. Don’t flake on your date. Follow an East Coast attitude that way. New Yorkers don’t make excuses. West Coasters are notorious for wishy washy, flaky behavior.

Be intelligent– About who you choose to date but also when you are on your date. Brush up on all current events and interesting topics to discuss. Men are attracted to a woman who lights up a room because she is confident and smart. Women are attracted to a man who is confident, well versed, and passionate.

Follow your instincts- Especially with online dating if you feel that someone is not authentic in their profile or there is a shadow of doubt in your mind, don’t go out. Through whatever method of dating, if your gut is saying something about your date, follow what your instinct says. Chances are your instincts are correct.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity)- He wants to sleep with you and you aren’t ready but feel the pressure. Tell him to go ‘you know what himself.’ Kidding. Stand up for yourself and say you don’t sleep together unless there is monogamy. Sex aside, if your date puts you in a compromising situation, speaks poorly of others (and you know that is not how you were raised to be), you must have the conviction to stand up for yourself (and in some cases excuse yourself from the date if it is going that poorly and he is just a total pig).

 Forge ahead– Dating can be draining and often frustrating. A series of poor dates can create a hazy attitude and seeing the so called “silver lining” becomes dismal and bleak.  Take a mini break from dating if you are in a rut. After your 2 week “hiatus”, forge ahead and march on.

Be optimistic– some stat I found says that 44% of the adult American population is single. That translates to over 100MM people. Those are a lot of fish in the dating pond. View the pond as a sea and start exploring options today. Also always be an optimist on a date. No one wants to be out with Debbie Downer or Serious Sam. Eeek.

Be kind- to those in your life. Compliment your date. Be kind to the waitstaff. In other words, be a nice person. People are very critical of others especially on first dates. Remember that your date is observing you and watching you. Snapping at the waitstaff, mocking others, or being rude to your date will simply become red flags for your match.  Be someone that others want to be around. Be likable! 

Persevere and don’t get caught up in the drama of it all– When you meet someone right for you, chances are you aren’t going to be asking for all your friends advice. When someone is questionable that you meet, chances are you will be emailing and calling Mom, girlfriends, etc about your date and deconstructing every part of your date.  Everyone always wants to be in each other’s business. Sometimes when it comes to dating, the best thing is to keep your personal life close to you and that is it. Otherwise, everyone will have an opinion and all of a sudden, that can convolute your perception and experience with the person you might like.

Be compassionate- Make a manta to yourself to be empathetic, smile, listen, do small acts of kindness, step into your dates shoes, don’t be judgmental, let your guard down, be vulnerable, admit you are not perfect, be deep, show passion. In other words,  do to others what you would have them do to you.

Listen- “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” —Ralph Nichols

Listen more- A lot of men and women tell me that they are most impressed when their date later recalls something they said. Focus on your date, put virtual horse blinders on, and listen. Listening and remembering is a huge form of flattery.

Never shy away from saying no– to anything that doesn’t feel right to you when dating.

Teure Suche nach Miss und Mister Right (Expensive search for Ms and Mr. Right)

Linx was just featured in Süddeutsche Zeitung in Germany by journalist Matthias Kolb. Here is the article for those of you who can read German. Süddeutsche Zeitung is largest German national subscription daily newspaper. 

Im Silicon Valley wird alles Mögliche outgesourct – selbst die Liebe. Das ist ein Glück für Menschen wie Amy Andersen: Die Linxdating-Gründerin arrangiert Dates. Manche Kunden überweisen dafür mehr als 50.000 Dollar. Fünfter Teil der Serie über Kaliforniens Hightech-Standort.

Wenn es um das Silicon Valley geht, dann ist die Rede von Innovationen, technischem Fortschritt und den immergleichen Unternehmen: Apple, Google und Facebook. Doch die Besonderheit des 77 Kilometer langen Streifen, der im Norden Kaliforniens von San Francisco durch das Santa-Clara-Tal runter nach San José führt, machen erst die zahlreichen Start-ups und deren Gründerinnen und Gründer aus.

In einer kleinen Artikelserie lassen wir acht Persönlichkeiten aus der Hightech-Region zu Wort kommen – Unternehmer und TV-Sternchen, Amerikas erfolgreichsten Immobilienmakler und einen Deutschen, der an einem “Start-up-Kompass” tüftelt, der Gründern vorhersagt, ob ihre Projekte durchstarten oder scheitern werden. Bereits zu Wort kamen David Sacks, Chef des sozialen Netzwerks Yammer, Cameron Teitelman, Leiter des StartX-Gründerzentrums der Uni Stanford, Soujanha Bhumkar, Gründer des Start-ups Cooliris und Björn Lasse Herrmann, Gründer des Start-up-Kompasses. Heute stellen wir Amy Andersen, 36, Chefin der Dating-Agentur Linxdating vor.

Im Silicon Valley gibt es viele Menschen, die alle Lebensbereiche outsourcen: Sie haben eigene Fitnesstrainer und jemanden, der ihre Mahlzeiten zusammenstellt. Die Liebe ist da keine Ausnahme. Ich habe meine Agentur Linxdating 2003 gegründet und helfe seitdem Investoren, Entwicklern, Programmierern und Managern dabei, den richtigen Partner fürs Leben zu finden. Meine typischen Kunden haben sich sehr auf ihre berufliche oder akademische Karriere konzentriert. Es ist fast so, als hätten sie sich unter einem Stein versteckt. Die meisten haben ein bestimmtes Alter, wenn sie uns kontaktieren: die Frauen sind etwa 33, Männer 38 bis 39.

Ich mache keine Werbung – neue Kunden kommen aufgrund von Empfehlungen zu mir. Sie müssen einen ausführlichen Fragebogen ausfüllen und auch Fotos ihrer Ex-Partner vorlegen. Wir führen ausführliche Gespräche, um Vertrauen aufzubauen und damit ich erahnen kann, wonach meine Klienten suchen und welche Eigenschaften ihnen wichtig sind. Ich weiß: Diese Menschen sind reich, jung und gut ausgebildet und sollten keine Probleme haben, einen Partner zu finden können. Doch viele wissen gar nicht, wie sie sich bei den Dates verhalten sollen, die ich für sie arrangiere.

Einen meiner Kunden, ein junger Manager von Facebook, hat schon der Gedanke an ein Date ängstlich gemacht. Ständig hat er gefragt: “Amy, worüber soll ich mit ihr denn reden außer über die Arbeit?” Um ihm zu helfen, habe ich einfach ein Gespräch mit ihm geführt und ihn nach Filmen, Büchern und seinem Lieblingswein gefragt. Er hat sehr viel geredet und das hat ihm sehr gefallen.”

Der Preis für meine Dienstleistungen richtet sich nach Umfang des Services. Für acht garantierte Dates innerhalb von 2 Jahren berechne ich 20.000 Dollar – natürlich gebe ich auch Tipps für die passende Garderobe, schlage passende Restaurants vor oder arrangiere eine Limousine. VIP-Kunden überweisen mindestens 50.000 Dollar.

Zeit ist wichtiger als Geld

Manche Klienten haben spezielle Wünsche: Ihr Traumpartner soll nicht nur eine bestimmte Haarfarbe haben, sondern auch einen bestimmten Abschluss von einer bestimmten Uni. Da muss ich wie eine Jägerin nach dieser Person suchen. Weil ihnen Zeit wichtiger ist als Geld und meine Diskretion schätzen, sind die Kunden bereit, diese Summen zu zahlen. Sie sorgen sich eher, dass sich ihr Gegenüber mehr über ihren Kontostand als für die eigene Persönlichkeit interessiert.

Natürlich ist dieser plötzliche Reichtum, diese Millionen, mit denen sie nicht gerechnet haben, etwas Großartiges, aber es macht auch Angst und kann zur Last werden. Also mache ich Rollenspiele mit ihnen: “Oh mein, Gott, du arbeitest bei Google/Facebook? Wie geht es deinem Aktiendepot und hast du schon mal Mark Zuckerberg getroffen?” Viele Leute stellen diese Fragen und darauf müssen sie vorbereitet sein. Nur so können sie herausfinden, ob ein Mädchen aus Interesse fragt oder weil sie eine sogenannte “Goldgräberin” ist.

Die Tatsache, dass ich alle Kandidaten wochenlang überprüfe und es allein 1000 Dollar kostet, in meine Kartei aufgenommen zu werden, ist sehr wirksam. Wer sich an mich wendet, sucht keine schnelle Affäre, sondern einen Partner mit ähnlichen Interessen, der ihn oder sie intellektuell herausfordert. Meine Kunden sind high profiles, die nicht mit einem Kollegen ausgehen oder in einer Bar nach Mister oder Miss Right suchen. Sie wissen, dass dies nicht passieren wird, und für Online-Dating sind sie zu vorsichtig. Also steht nach Bedarf nach Angeboten wie dem von Linxdating.

Silicon Valley Dating

We just interviewed a very impressive 50-something scientist and entrepreneur in the Silicon Valley. A true pioneer in his field professionally, loving father, and all around reinassance man. Tall, commanding, intellectual, and romantic! He’s also very kind, easy to talk to, and sincere.

Even the most confident and sexy man welcomes our subtle dating advice about strengthening one’s dating game. During his interview this week, we picked up on that he is SO passionate about his work. We worried that talk of work might dominate the conversation on a date and as a direct result could feel much more like a business meeting than a hot date for both parties.

Get to the bedroom, not the boardroom I interjected. He smiled and nodded his head. My assistant gave him some solid advice about dialing back the talk of work and playing up discussions of some of his hobbies, as well as, not forgetting to ask her questions! Dale Carnegie 101! Show a genuine interest in other people. This same principle carries over to the dating game. Ask without feeling interview-like. Be sincere and genuine.

Today I received an email from him sharing, “I was impressed by your thorough evaluation (and appreciated the tip about “keeping it light” and flirtatious; ie. avoiding too much talk about science.)” 

We love our clients and give them the necessarily tools in order to succeed. Today I guided another client when she asked the simple (yet important) question of what to wear on her first date. Since I know each and every client and their preferences, I gave her the necessary insights into him. He likes his dream woman to be confident, slightly understated, natural, and with a philosophy of less is more.

Thus, I told her wear a conservative monochromatic dress, closed toe pumps, very simple jewelry, and light natural make-up. Stay away from wild prints, cleavage exposed at all, and anything too flashy. A 2013 Jackie-O look! cn5685881This sort of classic sheath from Banana Republic is ideal for her date. Feminine sweetheart neckline, pretty, and elegant. I’d accent this with a cute trench for rainy nights and colorful pashmina, some classic stud earrings, and a necklace like Banana Republic’s ‘Deco tassle necklace’ for under $30. cn5353636

It is impossible to get these insights from other forms of dating. Online sites could never share these highly personalized preferences and most other matchmakers never really get to know their clients (so many these days simply interview “meet” their clients over Skype and never in person!)

Meet a VIP | Are you a petite & intellectual woman?

Another VIP search. Our client is an accomplished and very intense 39 year old who has never been married.

He is a handsome and fit Caucasian gentleman who is just shy of 5’8″. Educated at Stanford for undergraduate and postgraduate.  By day he is a very seasoned entrepreneur and leader and outside of work has a ton of interests ranging from: yoga, piano, travel, and investing. His faith is Jewish. Sonata_2_Piano_Mozart

While very successful, he is also humble, self-effacing, casual and down-to-earth.
He appreciates physicality and a woman who is comfortable in her skin. He needs someone who will challenge him intellectually and creatively. Are you someone who would want to take the world apart with him and put it back together uniquely upside-down?amm_family
His match can be of any ethnicity but must be petite and cute! For her age, the max is 32. Keep in mind he is very focused on finding his dream match and starting a family.
 

 

New Year…..A Fresh Start!

Christmas 2012 was simply divine. 2013 is well underway at Linx with a bombardment of men and women emailing me for consideration of membership. The decorations are packed up and it looks as though Spring is here at Linx. Well maybe not Spring but a fresh crisp feel for a cold January. San Mateo-20130103-00737Standing just shy of 5 feet, these gorgeous calla lilies grace the Linx officeSan Mateo-20130103-00736Modern elegance….these flowers are stunning! San Mateo-20130103-00733Vintage looking candle sticks with artificial flowers and greens with little accents of crystals and white pinecones adorn the Linx zinc pedestal table. Behind these candlesticks is an artificial rosemary tree (looks very real) standing 5 feet or so. I love constantly mixing up my home and office to shift and always evolve the experience for client and for my team. San Mateo-20130103-00734An easy way to create a happy atmosphere anywhere is to use florals. I raided Michael’s yesterday….luckily for me all silk flowers are 50% off. Since I rent my office space, I don’t necessarily want to have to paint walls to change a look. Instead, I always update the space by moving objects, mixing, matching, and adding lots of color everywhere! I spent maybe $30 total on these flowers here. They come on very long wire stems that are extremely hard to cut unless you have some serious gardening shears. Since I didn’t want to buy shears, I simply pulled the flowers off the wire stem. They’re fake and really easy to manipulate this way. Pull off, stack on top of one another for depth, and mix and match. You can’t go wrong! Immediately when I put them up my assistant asked if they were real. Wink wink! San Mateo-20130103-00739It is hard to tell what that “thing” is next to the roses but enter my new find from Mexico….el corazon. It has a pretty grey and white finish and is made of what appears to be ceramic, finished with a silver flame looking top. 

In my collection of all time favorite romantic films is Romancing the Stone. If you haven’t seen it, you really need to. It was super hard to find any You Tube clips of the actual movie…must be copyright protected.  Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner star in the movie and adventure through Colombia in search of el corazon (an emerald heart treasure). Their attraction is palpable….definitely a must see. Gosh they were so young in this ’84 film. ElCorazon

 

 

Love Linx Clients

At Linx we embrace our clients working around the clock for them. Today one VIP surprised me with a kind unexpected gesture. This man is truly a dynamic and extremely desirable gentleman. It is our mission to find him the love of his life this year. San Mateo-20130103-00731

For those reading, if you are interested in seeing if you qualify to meet him after reading this short description, ping me asap.  He is early 50’s, yet looks as though he is in his early 40’s.  He is 6’0″, has a very confident and commanding presence, Caucasian, and extremely fit. He has the most piercing blue eyes and ready white smile ever….straight out of a Colgate commercial. He is Stanford educated and running his own hyper successful business.

A true reinanance man who is passionate about: giving back to the community, the arts, fitness, spirituality, yoga, wine, fast cars, and surfing. He is a class act, warm, compassionate, intellectual, loving, and very family centric. Never married, no kids. 2013 is absolutely “his year” to have Linx help him in his quest to find his princess. His dream girl is incredibly beautiful outside and inside, warm, smart, sweet, deeply caring, happy, balanced, fit, and desiring marriage and children like he is.

This man is a true gentleman in every sense of the word. He will literally roll out the red carpet throughout an entire marriage. If you are desiring a handsome prince charming who is so far above and beyond so many guys in terms of elegance, class,  depth, success, and kind-heartedness he is “your” guy. We are committed to finding him “the one” by June of this year.

Linx Dating Confidential | Female, 52, school teacher

This friend of Linx shared that a man is desirable when he does what he says he will do. Simple right?

She shared a woman is sexy when she is feminine, strong, yet vulnerable. She is demure, classy…without wanting attention. She is good at conversation and listening, while adding something. She is adventurous…..she is curious about life and willing to try anything at lease once, while finding joy and laughter in all things along the way.

For her, the hardest thing about the dating scene are passive men who expect the female to do the pursuing. To read her questionnaire, simply click and zoom on the image.

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Linx Dating Confidential

Happy New Years! 2013 is going to be an amazing year for everyone! We are kicking off the New Year with a fantastic new way to publish honest, gutsy content about dating.

What are men and women really thinking? What is controversial? What are deal breakers on a date? What turns a guy on? What makes a man sexy? In the style of Proust, those who want to participate with these anonymous questionnaire called Linx Dating Confidential will need to print out the blank form and use their handwriting (no typing).

Once complete, send this anonymous form back to amy@linxdating.com and we will publish on the blog. Wouldn’t it be so great to really get the honest truth about what men and women really feel about dating and get to the juiciest of them all….no regrets, your perfect date ends….ping me asap if you want a blank questionnaire sent to you.  Enjoy two that have just come in. Scanned ImageLinxScan 2