October 5 2012 Ask Amy

QAmy, I am in a relationship right now where I love going out all the time to various galas, dinners, and events in San Francisco yet my boyfriend seems to get more and more introverted by the day and it’s like pulling teeth out to get him to attend these fabulous parties with me. I am so frustrated. All he wants to do is the occasional dinner with one another out and stay home the rest as he is so exhausted all the time for working banking hours. I really like him though.  

A: When boyfriends or husbands flair up, this is why you should have girlfriends. Any woman needs her pack of female friends to call upon to go to these functions with her. It sounds like you are very social and love being out and about. That is not for everyone so I do understand your boyfriends hesitation.

What I suggest is to do a shared social calendar with your beau- Google has an easy one you both could access easily. On the calendar put all your events and indicate if you are attending the movie opening with friend Sara, the restaurant year anniversary with Chloe, and so forth. Then block out five nights a month for just the two of you. Four are going to be dinners just with you two either in-home or out- aka date night and only ONCE a month will be an event with your beau.

Once you get these on the calendar, tell him about it and explain that you love your time with him very much and understand he might not be up for your parties and that is fine. Would he be ok with doing date night once a week with you and simply going to a party once a month, the rest you will do with your girlfriends?! I think you will have a happy boyfriend and have just figured out the perfect solution to your differences. Good luck!  

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