Amy I can’t meet a good guy! Help!

Dear Amy !  My 28-year-old daughter saw your article on ABC news on July 10, 2012 and was very impressed.  I viewed the link she emailed to me and am very impressed as well. …she just cannot meet a good man…she recently went to one of those speed dating situations and all the men were sub-par and only interested in you know what right now …she is way over the top too good for that messiness…and also extremely well-educated and pretty….hope to hear from you.  

Dear new friend,

What a great mom to write me on behalf of your lovely daughter!

I would advise your daughter to strongly look at the ways she is going about meeting men. The speed date thing is definitely “hit” or “miss.” I’m proud of her that she put herself out there like that and now understands the results can be dicey. Time to move on! Don’t waste time going to more.

Take half a day and in a quiet place really have her think about the types of men she envisions herself with. Are they sporty? Are they intellectual? Are they into the culinary arts? Is he a dog or cat lover? Any town is guaranteed to have men living in it and good ones too! I swear!  The question becomes, where would her type of future hubbie hang out?

After she has put her thoughts on paper,  I would ask her to consider starting to go to the places that these men might be at. If thoughts of a Bill Gates-esque man sends her over-the-moon with school girl giddiness, time to head to every computer science lecture in town, bookstores, and even heading to the local college to see if she can drop in a lecture- with the professors permission. Be aggressive! Ask questions! The world is her oyster!

As she is in these new environments, your daughter needs to dress the part (and genuinely feel good about herself) confidentially smile and say hello to each and every person she meets, and establish good eye contact. Every potential suitor loves the idea of a confident and happy woman. Who wouldn’t want to be around that type of person?!

This advice is very basic but the actual application of doing this will result in a seismic shift in her personal life. Finding a good, genuine, normal, commitment (amen!) minded man is actually much easier than many of us think! 

I was emailing with a dear client today and she reminded me that I had suggested she check out a local cafe here in Palo Alto (as I had thought the intellectual and good type of guy she would ultimately desire might be stationed there reading or on laptop with cappuccino.)

Turns out, the first guy she chatted with ends up being her now fantastically brilliant Stanford prof beau!  I love this! She listened, she entered the right type of place and next thing she knows, a first date (and perhaps last first date she ever has) is lined up!

This lesson I have shared is to place yourself in the right environment. In doing so, you will see a change. Your prince is not going to show up on your doorstep. You MUST go out and find him. Once in the right environment, your prince will undoubtedly pursue you, yet you must be there for OPPORTUNITY to happen. 

Now go get that pad of paper and have at it with your dream type! Have fun on your quest!

Girls Pack Your Bags for Sun Valley!

This past weekend my husband and I headed to Central Idaho for a nice long weekend of horseback riding, sunbathing and …..

After a few days of r&r in the incredibly scenic and magnificent weather of Sun Valley, my natural matchmaking instincts surfaced and I couldn’t help but notice the abundance of really good looking older men. (Think Ralph Lauren look alikes- tan skin, active, healthy, avid skiers, and silver hair). If I were a single woman in my 30, 40, or 50’s…I would buy a one way ticket to Sun Valley, Idaho! It is loaded with affluent, good looking, sporty men who are ALL SINGLE and searching. Real cowboys! Men on horses! Men wearing wranglers!

Curious about the local dating scene, I began chatting it up with a few locals at the Pioneer saloon and one eligible gentleman shared that women “should not commit to any man till they are last least 39 1/2 years because men are by nature  still trying to find themselves. Men don’t know their shit till after 40. Men in their 30s are trying to find themselves professionally. Ladies are different.”

A lot of the men I encountered have been married 1-3 times before and choose Sun Valley to be one with nature, enjoy a very down to earth group of locals, and the active lifestyle.

If you visit during the Allen & Co week, you will rub elbows with a lot of movers and shakers if you are lucky enough. A lot of the locals head out for that week to get outta dodge away from the hustle and bustle.

Our featured song for this entry is Tim McGraw and Faith Hill It’s Your Love 

So, grab your best girlfriend and head to Sun Valley for a long weekend. I’d play it real low key as these guys are no dummies. They can spot a woman who is after them for the wrong reasons or simply someone who is too eager. I chatted with my new Sun Valley buddies about this! Stay in town, go horseback riding, eat at the Pioneer, listen to live music, admire the thriving art scene, check out the Ketchum Grill, grab coffee at Java for low-key or Tully’s for more of a scene…..mingle and meet some really great locals who like you are searching for that perfect match.

Sun Valley, Idaho – The best baked potatoes money can buy! Good shopping! Limitless outdoor activities! (skiing, horseback riding, cycling, golfing)  Gorgeous mountains! The downside is a long drive from Boise airport to Sun Valley. The upside is countless new connections to really down-to-earth, good people…and possibly finding love!

Linx on ABC News Nightline!

We have been so completely inundated with matchmaking requests since Nightline aired nearly two weeks ago, that we are just now placing this entry up! It was so exciting getting to see the final product of our nearly 1.5 years in the making of this feature story.

Our featured song for this entry is Peter Gabriel’s Big Time. 

With only about 7 minutes of total airtime, a lot of great footage of other clients having participated never made it to the final cut. We had three other client stories and my actual interview with Bill Weir was 45 minutes! Such exciting stuff for our little business out of quiet Menlo Park, CA!

By KINGA JANIK

July 10, 2012

 On paper, Sundar Iyer seems like quite a catch.

He has a doctorate in computer science from Stanford. His second company sold when he was just 28 years old. His interests include ballroom dancing, standup comedy and recreational math.

So the ladies of Northern California must be lining up around the block to swoon over his intellect, dream about having children with him and splitting up the stock, right? But Iyer says not so much.

“I‘ve tried Match.com, I’ve tried eHarmony,” he said. “It’s hard to find people you can really relate to.”

And there’s others like Iyer. Silicon Valley may be the most recession-proof corner of the country, packed with brainiac billionaires, but the Revenge of the Nerds won’t truly be complete until these guys can find love.

And that is where self-made matchmaker Amy Andersen comes in.

“I think when people initially visualize that Silicon Valley guy, they’re really picturing these mini Bill Gateses running around with coke bottle glasses and maybe pocket protectors, just totally clueless around women, and there is definitely some of those, let’s be honest here,” she said.

About a dozen years ago, Andersen said she realized that the dotcom boom in Silicon Valley created a lot of very successful and very lonely men. Meanwhile, nearby San Francisco was crawling with smart, attractive and single women. So Andersen launched Linx Dating in 2003 to bring the two groups together.

“I find a lot of the guys in Silicon Valley can be so exceptional on paper. These guys have been absolutely rock stars in their academic careers. Professionally, they’ve sold companies. They are just going incredible places. And when they come into my office, I often see this deep insecurity, especially in landing or trying to pick up and attract a beautiful woman. It’s very hard for them,” she said.

Andersen started out beta-testing her idea on her friends and researching dating advice. Almost a decade later, Linx Dating has grown into a prosperous business with more than 1,000 paying clients, according to the company’s website.

But Andersen’s services don’t come cheap. Packages start out around $1,000 and go up to the VIP level with a hefty price tag of $50,000, which includes wardrobe consultations and date coaching, Andersen said.

“For instance, he might show up for a first date in a really shiny sports car. And that’s really great and all, but the wrong woman is going to end up with him for the wrong reasons. My advice for these guys, and it’s happened so many times, is to rent a car. Borrow your buddy’s Prius or Honda. And if you’re with the right woman, she will be with you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones,” she said.

For his part Iyer says he signed up with Linx not for coaching, but for introductions to women he might not otherwise meet in the male-centric Valley.

When Andersen meets with clients, she has them fill out a vast and deeply personal questionnaire, which includes such questions as “rate your physical appearance on a scale of 1 to 10. She then works to build their confidence and match them up on dates.

“I think a lot of the Silicon Valley-based guys who are so incredibly successful and cerebral tend to be very analytical. They can be very preprogrammed and robotic in the motions that they carry on through life. It’s their mind that has led them to be so successful. Now the issue at stake is that that analytical mentality doesn’t exactly compute over to the dating world where emotion and feeling and that emotional intelligence is really important,” Andersen said.

Andersen said her method works better than Match.com or eHarmony — websites that use computer algorithms to match people’s profiles — because she can help her clients get over their anxieties and teach them how to present themselves on dates.

“A computer can’t whisper into your ear and say here’s a little history into your match, and this is what you should wear. These are points to talk about. Avoid this,” she said. “It’s really that very personalized approach that makes this incredibly unique, and that no algorithm could do, no computer, no geeky piece of technology or iPhone app could figure out.”

Perhaps she is right. Maybe, even in Silicon Valley, love is tech-proof. 

Perfect Date Night Dress for Sale!

Ladies, I purchased a never worn Shosanna dress from Gilt.com about a year ago. I was super excited to receive it yet when I put it on, I couldn’t zip it up.

I am between a 4-6 dress size and 5’7″. This particular dress says it is a size 6 but in reality it is more like a 2-4. It is ideal for someone with a very small upper torso, frame, small breasts, and no hips. It is from top to bottom around 35.5 inches long.

I never returned it because I forgot and it has been sitting in my closet never worn, tags on, and screaming out for someone to please wear it already!  The photos don’t do it justice as the black fabric has this nice sheen to it and is a very high quality material. What I love about the cream part is that it is made to look like it is a separate top tucked in but it’s all the same piece.

This little black and cream Shosanna is ideal for day into date night. You could easily pair it with a nice blazer and nude pumps for work and then shimmy your way into date night sans blazer and colorful pashmina and fab accessories. Primary colors would look great with it or something as classic as a strand of pearls and little studs.

Please email me if you are interested in this dress. Bidding starts now, starting price $50. amy@linxdating.com

I am happy to ship to you for an additional $10.00. No returns.

Success! VIP Bachelorette Search Event Last Week!

Last week we spent July 10^th, 11^th and 12^th at the luxurious St. Regis hotel in San Francisco searching for the perfect, needle in a haystack, dream bachelorette for a young 32 year old VIP bachelor client.

Our featured song is Jody Watley Looking For A New Love. 

My assistant, Aimi, and I checked in and literally hit the ground running for the next few days (in my typical style, I only left the hotel from check-in on Tuesday to departure at 1:00am on Saturday for 5 minutes mid week for a quick breath of fresh air!)  The style was individual private meetings with exceptionally stunning and brilliant women who had submitted their information as part of this search. In a few cases, my team recruited some women that we felt should be considered for the event. 

These women couldn’t have been more impressive, poised, fun to be around, and taking this process so seriously. I really am still flabbergasted at the quality of these women (think Ivy League education, young professionals, having it ALL going on, very attractive, family values, sweet, witty, and warm hearted.)

It’s been such an honor that our bachelor has brought us on board to help him find the love of his life and truth is, we had no idea (nor did he) what a successful turn-out this event would be. 

The stage was set in our luxe suite at the St Regis and our bachelor wanted each detail to be perfect. Every. Little. Detail.

Think – gorgeous suite at the St. Regis with sweeping views of San Francisco, multiple exotic floral arrangements, hand crafted chocolates as thank you gifts, French champagne, artisanal breads and cheeses, candles and soft music. The setting was super comfortable and environment conducive to open-up about love and potentially getting to meet this class-act of a gentleman.

The pièce de résistance was a collection of giclée canvases that our bachelor requested being showcased in the suite. What guy thinks of these things?! He is so creative and has such an attention to detail that so many do not. From a canvas about his passion for skiing in Europe, to a simple painting of a serene moonlit landscape, the idea was to inspire stories/ideas/thoughts from each of the lovely women that attended. 

We spent very long (15 hour plus and yes lots of coffee fueling us) exciting days personally sitting down and meeting each candidate asking them intimate details about their relationship history, family background, and what is the most challenging aspect about potentially dating themselves!  Aimi and I enjoyed a couple of late nights in our St Regis bathrooms burning there midnight oil! You can imagine that there were so many stories and personal thoughts we had to put into a document for our bachelor , that THIS part of the week was extremely labor intensive for us. I’ll tell you no other matchmaker anywhere would ever think to go to this length or desire getting every scrupulous detail to ensure a successful outcome. Every. Little. Detail. 

Candidate after candidate, conversation after conversation- we were so impressed at the underlying elegance and openness that these women brought to this cool opportunity. I think most agreed that this opportunity was just so hands down unusual. It isn’t typical for a guy in the Bay Area (San Francisco no less) to retain a company like Linx to help him in his quest for his dream wife (especially at his young age.) Most 32 years old are doing the Chestnut Street bar crawl. Tipsy Pig no thanks!

In my conversations leading up to the event, he really could not believe that these gorgeous and smart women were there to potentially meet him! He was so  honored and just really blown-away by the whole orchestration and overwhelming response. In a meeting leading up to the event the night before, he sat across from me, almost teary eyed at how blessed and humbled he felt. 🙂

As exciting and interesting as this entire journey has been – the hardest part is all the anticipation as to who our VIP Bachelor will choose. It just takes one girl and the reality is he is making some careful decisions currently. He might choose one or two to have dates with, maybe more, maybe less. In the end, these girls might realize they don’t want to meet him. It goes both ways. Something tells me this won’t be the case.

We will be doing more VIP events in the near future and possible an international search as well. Linx is always looking for the next VIP client to allow him or her to help with their dream search and making every little detail count!

 

 

Date Night at Home

Summertime is the perfect season for staying in and doing date night at home. Gathering the freshest ingredients, prettiest backyard flowers, using Tuscan party string lights suspended throughout trees and bushes, lighting tons of votives, and opening a gorgeous bottle of champagne creates magic for any couple.

Our featured song is Kool and the Gang Summer Madness. 

Last night, we wanted to stay in and chill at home. Husband cooked a delightful meal of heirloom tomatoes with burrata, chilled spinach fettucine with roasted chicken and sesames, and a vanilla scented whipped creme and fresh berries for dessert. 

Here are simple ways to add sparkle to your backyard:

Restoration Hardware “Party Globe Light String” (I have had ours in the backyard for a few years now. Have a handyman come out to string multiple rows together, using duck tape along the way and nailing on your fence if you have a fence.) Another festive idea is Restoration Hardware’s “Starry String Lights” for a tree.

Wine bottle candelabra- Amazon has a few varieties. Keep a special bottle your honey and you shared from an anniversary and use that bottle for home entertaining. All you need is the candelabra and some tall candlesticks.  Another cool idea is to get a larger wine bottle like a magnum w the candelabra, smaller bottle with candles next to it, and a third bottle as a vase. Group all three next to one another.

Fresh garden flowers and flower petals on your dinner table. Romance is created.

The best bubbly you can afford. Champagne is so fun to drink. Make French 75’s if you really want to add a special twist you your evening. I prefer high quality bourbon French 75’s over gin. He will love it! Trust me. Dip the champagne flute rims in a little colored sugar for an extra sweet touch.

Charms on Gilt.com

To my point from my last entry. Today on Gilt.com yes I am very guilty! 🙂 , they featured some sweet charm-like necklaces and bracelets. I am huge into conversation piece jewelry and saw this one that I thought was particularly fun and very wearable with a wide range of clothing- from tanks and jeans, to a summery dress. If you would like me to send you an invitation to shop on Gilt.com, email me amy@linxdating.com. 

How to Charm Him!

A short and sweet little post about charming a guy with the simplicity of wearing a charm bracelet. When my sister and I were very little, our mom started a wonderful tradition with us where we would add fun charms to our sterling silver bracelet after memorable family vacations or nostalgic occasions (graduation, getting your drivers license, getting a family puppy, etc). At this point, my bracelet is so loaded with charms (favorites include: a little bird cage from my grandma on my father’s side, a poodle, a high heel, and a best friend heart split in two.) 

I don’t always wear my bracelet but when I do, I notice it is a fabulous way to share a story about yourself in such a genuine and authentic way. Not only does it  make a loud jingle jangle sound as you bounce down the street but once on your date, inevitably he will ask what that is around your wrist and let the conversation  start!   You know he will want to know more and more! It’s just such a sassy flirting mechanism that every IT girl should try!

I think it is a lot more fun to buy a quality empty bracelet and slowly start collecting charms through the decades versus buying one that is already set with charms which might not have any particular meaning to you. It can become a bit of a scavenger hunt while on holiday as you search for the cutest, shiniest, little keepsake.  

James Avery Craftsman out of Texas has quite the collection of very durable and well made sterling bracelets and the sweetest little charms ever.  I have had my James Avery bracelet (including many of their charms) for goodness knows a very long time! 

This Weeks Featured New Clients

Our featured new clients this week: 

(1) A Caucasian, tall, slender, graceful, blond who is in her late 30s, very well educated and working in the internet real estate industry. She’s classy, soft-spoken, and feminine, while also dynamic and independent. She has a wide range of interests and prides herself in being an avid traveler – two of her recent trips were the Hamptons and Switzerland. This fabulous woman loves sports and spends time watching baseball, football, and tennis and enjoys live sporting events (her sports knowledge can probably rival any guy’s). Her ideal leading man is Caucasian, sophisticated, geeky, eccentric, quietly confident, and preferably tall. Deal breakers include: too Type A, aggressive, and doesn’t want kids.  

 (2) An incredibly wholesome late 20s Caucasian woman residing on the Peninsula. She is a graduate of a top liberal arts school and also has a Law degree.  Physically she is 5’ 7” and naturally beautiful with fair skin, dark long brown hair, and a very sweet smile. Her interests include cars, entertaining for close friends and family, old films, the arts, and reading… she considers herself a voracious reader (favorites include The Power of One by Bryce Courtney, Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford, and most things by Agatha Christie)   Her ideal match is a dynamic gentleman of any ethnicity, intellectual, geeky, a good communicator, and family centric. Deal breakers include: life-of-the-party, apolitical, has kids, over 42.

(3) A thoughtful and inquisitive early 40s Caucasian gentleman, Ivy League educated for his undergraduate and postgraduate, he spends his time as an executive at a hot tech company.  He is funny, down to earth, liberal, and very kind-hearted. His passions include daily swimming, reading fiction, skiing, tennis, lots of laughter, wine and entertaining. This gentleman has lived all around the world. Including Canada, Europe, and the East Coast. He grew up Christian, appreciates Buddhism, and would like his dream match to have a spiritual core to her.  His perfect match is a naturally beautiful woman in her early to mid 30’s, any ethnicity, and ideally career driven and either in (or with experience having been in) a leadership role. Importantly, she is intellectually curious, has an unwavering happiness about her, is thoughtful, and quick witted. Deal breakers include: very traditional, conservative, moody, over 36, atheist. 

(4) A vibrant and athletic Caucasian guy in his mid 20s, Stanford educated, and now working for a very well known tech company. His best physical features are his contagious smile, football-like physique, strong broad shoulders and dark brown features.  Being a total guy’s guy, he loves sports, trucks, poker and BBQ-ing with friends and family.  He’s young and extremely goal oriented, down to earth, funny, and just an overall fun guy with a very cheerful and “can-do” energy who is ready for commitment. He is looking for this same positive energy in his match – someone who enjoys the little things in life, leads an active lifestyle, enjoys dining and entertaining, and can be equally comfortable in the city drinking fine wine or appreciating the country life kicking dirt around listening to a country music concert.  She is Caucasian, Latin or Asian American ethnicity under 30 years old, petite with curves, bubbly, sweet, and smart. Deal breakers include: curly hair, extremes with religion, has kids, doesn’t want kids, atheist, and someone who is too environmental.  

If you feel you make a wonderful potential match for any of these clients, please contact Amy today! amy@linxdating.com