Advice for Men on Getting to Date Two

How to find her and make her yours!

The secret?

Silicon Valley has thrived from men and women leading with their cerebral intensity. When it comes to matters of the heart, that intensity doesn’t always translate to finding love!

I advise our male clients to get out of your head! When dating, it’s very easy to get stuck in your head and having a million thoughts and questions running through your head i.e. “Is she into me? Should I ask her out again? Is she enjoying the date? What is she thinking?” 

Remember that this takes away from you being fully present. When you are on a date and thinking about how to get to that second date – just be frank. If you like her, let her know. If you want to see her again, let her know. It’s really a lot simpler than you think – so, get out of your head, be present and 

man up to the dating challenge of actually not playing games. In other words, tap into emotion. How are you feeling? Women are looking for a man who is not only very smart from an IQ stand point but who has at least some self-awareness and EQ.  

Beyond this guys, while on the date, you must be attentive. This goes along with getting out of your head. When you are fully present, you are engaging in the conversation, picking up on signals, paying attention to details of the conversation, making eye contact, being aware of your body language, and complimenting her.

I am always astonished at the number of men who feel they don’t need to pay a compliment. Yes you do! These women make an effort leading up to the first date. She might get a nice mani & pedi, buy a cute flirty dress, and take dating seriously. A compliment disarms a woman, puts her more at ease, and creates a recipe for potential romance.

By getting out of your head and being attentive to your date, these are the baby steps towards achieving your personal goals at landing the woman of your dreams.

Attention Silicon Valley Geeks

One of my favorite, quirky geek films in the 80’s by John Hughes is Weird Science where two high school, dateless geeks use their computer skills to create “the perfect woman” 

 
A lot of us obsessed over this movie but fast forward Linx has become a sort of step back in time allowing cerebral types with callused computer fingers spin out their perfect Kelly La Broc woman. 

In reminiscing about this movie I am reminded of the wonderful pool of guys that come to Linx searching for that “perfect woman.”

These men have just been nose to the grindstone, focused on their academics and career and are ready for love. They come to Linx in search of their life partner but aren’t so sure where to get started and sometimes they just need a bit of date coaching to learn to strengthen their hunter and alpha male qualities.

In the movie the boys create an insanely stunning woman of their dreams who also has magical powers which she uses to carefully steer the normally shy teens in directions where they are forced to be in-charge under pressure.  

I like to think of Linx as this female character in the film in that sense – where instead of magically providing a car, fake IDs and heading to a Blue’s club for some  Bourbon shots, we take the guys exactly as they are and help them own their qualities, polishing them up with excellent sound bytes. We might even go as far as wardrobe consultation, mock dates, and throwing them in simulated environments where we role play.  
 

We pride ourselves in representing such a quality pool of “geeks” because these are the men women are demanding! Women want men who are hard working, passionate about what they do, successful and quirky in their own special way, attentive and honest – the best thing about these men is that all these traits is what women find uber sexy and many of these men don’t even know it!

If you are one of these guys who maybe is shy and wonders what the heck women are thinking half the time, write us. We represent hundreds of good guys like you and can help you land the perfect Weird Science girl of your dreams. Dating is a skill and we are masters of helping our clients learn techniques to achieve your personal goals of finding true love.

Fido Helps You Get the Girl or Guy

Have you thought about the impact a four legged creature could have on going from single and searching to blissfully coupled up?  

Previously, I’ve shared some insight on my beloved pup and how much joy he’s brought to the lives of my husband and I. Now, I’d like to elaborate a bit on why you should get a dog, especially if you’re single! (and of course love pets)

Chances are, you probably haven’t considered how impactful  a dog can be for you in terms of getting more dates.

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

They get you out & about! — this is the first step to meeting more people in the first place, outside of your apartment!

They naturally draw you to the company of other people who already share a common interest (people like you)  – ie. at the vet, the dog park, around town, or just about anywhere you’d be walking or spending time with your dog.

Having a dog really helps you “break the ice” – I see it happening time and time again even when I’m on a stroll with Marshall – if people are within close enough proximity, they will take a moment to make a comment or strike a conversation.

Having a pet gives you something to talk about – sharing training methods, dog foods, funny stories and so on. 

AND if you’re talking about dogs for quite some time – you’ve already surpassed a huge hurdle in the dating world – and that is finding a shared interest. 

Fido- Best Friend & Matchmaker

My husband, Alex, and I got the most gorgeous rescue dog a few months ago named Marshall from the central valley SPCA. Our pup (a stunning blend of German Shepard, chow chow, Pekinese, and soft coated wheaten terrier) has brought us so much love and fun into our busy lives.  The photo below is at the SPCA. Marshall is the lil guy on the left in pic. 

There are countless favorites that top my list about our little guy (including how he hiccups and his deliciously soft Buddha belly that bulges after a big meal) but an obvious is getting to walk Marshall and decompress from the day. It’s been obvious to me before but now crystal clear that being accompanied by a dog often attracts a lot of attention which can be a great ice breaker in dating. 

Having a dog is one of the greatest gifts on earth. Besides bringing so much joy, unconditional love, a profound impact on lowering stress levels, they are the perfect tool for eligible men and women searching for the one. In other words, fido can become your date coach and matchmaker for an inexpensive price and a potentially huge upside!  

I walk down the street with this gorgeous 23 pound muscular 4 legged boy and people stop. They ask questions about him and then all of a sudden talk from training techniques, soft versus wet food, and dog parks bridges the gap into other adult topics.

I’ve noticed that a lot of dog owners are very eager to befriend other dog owners. Unlike getting to choose the parents that your kids become best friends with in school, you can actually choose which dog owners you’d like to hang out with when doing doggie play dates. 

Already have a dog? Great! If not, consider rescuing a dog from your local shelter (the central valley is flooded with so many breeds and many of these innocent pups are put down to lower costs). It’s a great starting place if you are considering getting a dog and fun to check out the different types.

Though my dog did not put me in touch with my husband… he has played played a very important role in brightening our lives and we have so much fun having a new addition to the family!

You can see how much he’s grown in these pics. The first one was when we had just gotten him. Lil boy! The last pic here is from a few weeks ago. He had officially outgrown his bed. And yes, he has a spotted tongue- that’s the chow in him.  

Linx on BBC World News Update

I was contacted by a producer yesterday at the BBC News and did an interview with them today at 12:00am PST via Skype.

Dan Damon interviewed me (they never told me exactly ahead of time what I would be asked but I speculated the geeks finding love in the Silicon Valley.)

The Linx interview is 24 minutes into the podcast.

BBC World News Update June 8th 2012

 

Linx in the New York Times June 7th 2012

Bachelorville’s Big Fish

By ALEX WILLIAMS

WHEN Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook married his longtime girlfriend, Priscilla Chan, recently, one of the world’s youngest billionaires was off the market.

But that doesn’t mean that there is a dearth of eligible singles in Silicon Valley.

Perhaps nowhere on earth are there more young, bright, wildly overcompensated hyper-achievers who are currently unattached. The Facebook initial public offering alone spawned, by some estimates, 1,000 millionaires (never mind that $1 million these days barely buys a ranch house in Palo Alto, Calif.). And every year, the pool grows, as a new crop of kids arrives from Stanford and Harvard, fueled by Mountain Dew caffeine and I.P.O. dreams.

But with everyone in a sprint to make their killing before the next crop of dreamers arrives to take their place, many find it hard to find time for dating. Faced with 16-hour workdays, it is hard enough to find time to shave.

Part of the reason for the glut of singles is demographic. For all the inroads that female power brokers like Marissa Mayer of Google or Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook have made, the upper echelon of the tech world remains largely a male domain. Of the American start-up tech firms with venture capital backing, for example, only about 11 percent had female chief executives or founders as of 2009, according to Dow Jones VentureSource data, cited in The Wall Street Journal in 2010. (The industry’s gender imbalance also lurks at the core of the recent high-profile sexual-discrimination lawsuit by Ellen Pao, a female junior partner, against her employer, the venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers).

The imbalance is also painfully clear to the male tech executives in the Santa Clara Valley, who bitterly joke about living in “Man Jose” or “Manta Clara.”

For women, “the ratio certainly can work in your favor,” said Julia Allison, a former tech journalist who divides her time between New York and the Bay Area, and says she finds digital entrepreneurs more satisfying partners than Wall Street moguls: “Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who was changing the world?”

Unlike Hollywood, or even New York, Silicon Valley is not a nightclub culture. People talk work even for fun in their supposed off-hours, trading industry gossip in low-key spots like Philz Coffee or the Old Pro, a sports bar, in Palo Alto, said Amy Andersen, who runs Linx Dating, a Menlo Park-based dating and social network that caters to high-earning tech executives. It’s an insular world. “Silicon Valley connections — whether they are for business, love, or friendships — occur from trusted sources,” she said.

Our admittedly unscientific roundup of some of the unmarried tech executives who inspire the most buzz in Silicon Valley and its East Coast counterpart, Silicon Alley, is still mostly men who have a net worth in eight or nine figures. But that could change in the next few years as a generation of hard-charging single women in their 20s (Alexa Hirschfeld of Paperless Post, Hayley Barna from Birchbox or Melody McCloskey from StyleSeat) begin to make their move.

Princess Proposals Visits Cavallo Point

I am very excited to introduce and share all the amazing details about the newest princess proposal: Mark & Rachel.   

As it had been raining the day prior – I was a little worried about the weather for this outdoor proposal but we arrived at the historic Cavallo Point and it was a gorgeous day, perfectly sunny and crisp. The location was the perfect romantic backdrop for the big day with the Golden Gate Bridge spectacular in the background! 

Princess Proposals worked behind the scenes setting the stage in the most luxe modern suite on the property. Our client Mark shared ahead of time her favorite colors were hot pink but she also loved turquoise. We were all set with candles, fresh flowers in vases, rose petals galore, precious photos of the couple to string across their room.  

Team Linx was  ready to work our magic in decorating their room & dinner table – followed by expert ninjas lurking behind curtains and bushes to capture every moment of the actual proposal!  I know, I look like Jack in The Shining below. 

They arrived at 5:00pm. She thought they were doing a night away and was so happy with that. He had explained they would be in a basic room and budget permitting, enjoy a dinner at Murray Circle too. The proposal occurred before they were seated for dinner at a quiet hilltop location overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, with two chairs set up with blankets and a fresh red rose hidden beneath the blanket – (this being Mark’s cue to pop the question as she discovers the rose). Dinner followed set by a cozy fireplace and later, they happy couple strolled off to their suite decked out to celebrate the once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

Though this proposal was phenomenal, extremely special and luxurious, we suspect she would have been just as happy with a twistee tie because they’re THAT in love!

Congratulations Mark & Rachel and for allowing princess proposals to be a part of the first day of the rest of your lives!

Another Linx couple gets engaged

We obsess about our clients and have a special affinity with those who are coupled up. Linx’s small side venture, Princess Proposals, had the pleasure in helping one gentleman client plan his perfect proposal to his now fiancé, Rachel just yesterday. 

This couple were first matched in August of 2011 (both one another’s second Linx introduction) and quickly became exclusive shortly after summer of last year.  

They bonded through their love of the outdoors, fitness, and faith. What I really respect about watching this happy couple from the side lines was no drama, honest intentions, and just no matter what they always are so content with one another. No need for high end wining and dining or 5 star trips to woo one another. 

Mark came to me about one month ago, certain that he is ready to take the next big step with Rachel and expressed that he wanted a little help to plan the perfect proposal. He already had a very elegant and special ring custom made, the perfect cocktail dress picked out for her and together we  brainstormed on the location being at Cavallo Point in Sausalito with glorious San Francisco views. 



Running Linx has brought me so much joy, seeing happily exclusive couples occur as a result of joining Linx. In starting Princess Proposals I wanted to be a small part in helping the couples plan for the perfect proposal before taking the next BIG step together; making it a seem less and everlasting memory for the couple. 



As I’ve been working with Mark and Rachel for almost exactly a year now, I really got to know them and learned that they are both just so down to earth, enjoy the simple things in life and are so genuinely grateful for the connection they have with one another. I worked with Mark this past month on planning the special little details of the day – including: having photos printed, hand writing a love letter, finding out what her favorite colors are, helping him plan an itinerary for the day and really walking him through each step and just having him focus on the most important thing – the actual proposal and his soon to be fiancé. Stress free!


I wanted to make sure that Rachel felt like a princess throughout the entire day and had so much fun gathering the photos from Mark and loading up with beautiful decorations for their  dinner table at Murray Circle and their contemporary VIP suite at the Cavallo Lodge – as they ended their evening after the proposal.   

 

Modern Dating

Today I received an email from a new client who really appreciated the document that we attach to all Linx introductions, officially entitled “Linx Dating’s Hints For Successful Dates.”

The number one point I make in this guide is “When you receive your Linx introduction, throw the idea of Googling your match out the window!  Why do you think we stopped sharing last names after all?! There is something very appealing about creating some intrigue and mystery in building up to the first date. If you know too much, it can spoil the fun!”

In reading this document, the new client (a female) emailed me saying, “You are a genius–saving us from the post-feminist catastrophe one match at a time. I love your guidelines for dating! I’m sure everyone feels this way. I was concerned about Googling; since my name is unique, it’s very easy to find me.”   

While she appreciated the simplicity of my date etiquette, I just had a male client text me after he received his Linx introduction asking me what his date’s last name was. Even though this is a VIP client of Linx, I wrote back and said “you know I can’t give that information out, it is private.”

Why would he need to know? What’s the point of revealing something like that? Isn’t a completely customized bio of whom you are going out with enough, including an attached mobile number? I think, in this era, that so many of us feel the need for more. More data = more better?! More data = more comfort in knowing whom you are going out with? Or more data = I will finally find evidence that makes me not want to date this person? What is the point?

It begs the question. What did people do without the internet when dating?  Did you go to the library? Did you call a neighbor? Did you meet at a coffee shop to find out MORE information about your blind date from your friend setting you up? To expand on that, what did people do without mobile phones when dating?

Has the amount of information and technology available hurt the dating scene or enabled more opportunities, deeper resources, and aided in the quest of finding the one? What do you think?