Lingering Doubts Before Getting Engaged?

Have you been out of the dating scene for a long time because you’ve been focusing on personal and professional growth and suddenly you think you’ve found “the one” but are still feeling hesitant to take the plunge – i.e. marriage?

Perhaps you are feeling like you need that last bit of “reassurance” – just to “make sure” he/she is “the one.”

So, what do you do?

Do you follow your “gut feeling” and take the next big step toward full commitment? Do you continue to “date around?” Do you….phone a friend?

Well, I am seeing time and time again for people who haven’t really dated a ton (compared to high volume daters), that once they get matched, they couple up very quickly because everything is perfectly aligned – the physical attraction is on point, values and goals are closely correlated, sparks are firing and the timing is right. 

As things are moving rapidly and the feelings are amazing and it quickly becomes “serious,” they often need that “last gut check” to make sure the timing really is right for marriage. I’ve had many clients in this position contact me for an additional introduction to a new person, in a very casual setting, i.e. no dinner date (less guilt) and more like a coffee ‘conversation’ as a final “date” to give them that nudge to either move forward or take a step back with the person about whom they are really serious.

I am a firm believer in following your gut feelings and recognizing that when you’ve got a great thing going, there may not be flashing signs or lightning bolts but if you are in a happy relationship, muster up that courage and take the next step!

However, when my clients come to me in this situation, I am more than happy to give them that little “nudge” even if it means setting them up on one last casual date to seal the deal because it does take a lot of courage to take a step back, re-evaluate and seek a bit of “help” before making such a big decision. And because the choice to get married is so individual – I find that this is a wonderful way to step out of that microcosm for a moment and to take a look at their current relationship from a different perspective before ultimately making a decision.

The bigger picture here – simply do what feels right. Sometimes we humans unconsciously make things more difficult than they need to be. If you find yourself in a wonderful, exclusive relationship and marriage feels right – take the plunge! If you’re feeling a bit nervous or uncertain about it – address the issues and keep moving forward. Either way, choose love and you can’t go wrong 😉

Have you found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did you overcome the feeling of needing that little “nudge” to get you over the hump? Do share!

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