Month: April 2012

Lingering Doubts Before Getting Engaged?

Have you been out of the dating scene for a long time because you’ve been focusing on personal and professional growth and suddenly you think you’ve found “the one” but are still feeling hesitant to take the plunge – i.e. marriage?

Perhaps you are feeling like you need that last bit of “reassurance” – just to “make sure” he/she is “the one.”

So, what do you do?

Do you follow your “gut feeling” and take the next big step toward full commitment? Do you continue to “date around?” Do you….phone a friend?

Well, I am seeing time and time again for people who haven’t really dated a ton (compared to high volume daters), that once they get matched, they couple up very quickly because everything is perfectly aligned – the physical attraction is on point, values and goals are closely correlated, sparks are firing and the timing is right. 

As things are moving rapidly and the feelings are amazing and it quickly becomes “serious,” they often need that “last gut check” to make sure the timing really is right for marriage. I’ve had many clients in this position contact me for an additional introduction to a new person, in a very casual setting, i.e. no dinner date (less guilt) and more like a coffee ‘conversation’ as a final “date” to give them that nudge to either move forward or take a step back with the person about whom they are really serious.

I am a firm believer in following your gut feelings and recognizing that when you’ve got a great thing going, there may not be flashing signs or lightning bolts but if you are in a happy relationship, muster up that courage and take the next step!

However, when my clients come to me in this situation, I am more than happy to give them that little “nudge” even if it means setting them up on one last casual date to seal the deal because it does take a lot of courage to take a step back, re-evaluate and seek a bit of “help” before making such a big decision. And because the choice to get married is so individual – I find that this is a wonderful way to step out of that microcosm for a moment and to take a look at their current relationship from a different perspective before ultimately making a decision.

The bigger picture here – simply do what feels right. Sometimes we humans unconsciously make things more difficult than they need to be. If you find yourself in a wonderful, exclusive relationship and marriage feels right – take the plunge! If you’re feeling a bit nervous or uncertain about it – address the issues and keep moving forward. Either way, choose love and you can’t go wrong 😉

Have you found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did you overcome the feeling of needing that little “nudge” to get you over the hump? Do share!

Media Opportunity for Social, Single, Fabulous Girl

We are looking for a female who has her finger on the pulse of the Silicon Valley dating and social scene for an upcoming national media story.
This is a great opportunity for any social girl who is ‘in the know’ and of course, the exposure is FABULOUS for the thousands of men watching and subsequently emailing me saying, I need to meet THAT girl! 

Email me ASAP if you are interested, will share more. amy@linxdating.com

Backward is the way forward

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, naturally I think about my parents and their “love” journey – from dating to being married for over 40 years! Their love story serves as a constant reminder to me to slow down and really focus on what’s important when it comes to dating and love, which is something I always tell my clients.

Think back to when our parents were dating – when chivalry and manners were key and “options” were fewer. Remember the importance and excitement of courtship that our parents and other couples have been practicing for centuries. In today’s fast paced society where we are leading such busy and technologically connected lives, it’s important to slow down and remember to enjoy the ride.

I’d like to take you on a brief stroll back through the history of romance and encourage you to remember where we came from with regards to dating and, in the process, share with you a couple of good old-fashioned dating tips about targeting only the most critical options in your search, making the effort to have more face-to-face interactions, and embracing chivalry.

1.Choices: Remember that “less is more”

Thinking back to when my parents were dating, my father just knew he wanted to marry my mother, proposed after only seven days of knowing her and “lived happily ever after” with some bumps along the way, naturally. Back when our parents were “dating” – the pool of eligible mates was smaller, fewer choices meant more focus on what was really important when it came to courtship and truly “getting to know” someone. When it comes to dating, too often I see people passing up wonderful opportunities and chances for great connections because they want to “keep their options open.” Having options is wonderful, but it’s not about quantity here – more importantly, think about what really matters in finding the one person you want to share your life with – what are their values, passions and goals, just to name a few?  These deeper things all take quality time to learn about in another person- versus he is an inch too short or she isn’t skinny enough. Look to have fewer options and instead focus on what’s important and target your dating efforts accordingly.

2. Personal Communication

In our technology driven world, it has become more convenient to chat via e-mails and text messaging, and this has stunted the growth of intimacy and good old fashioned personal communication, especially face-to-face! While it may be quicker and more convenient to send a message – in the world of dating, a phone call and human interaction is much more personal and can be key to building meaningful relationships.

Also, the thrill of meeting someone new in person and by chance occurs much less often since people are now searching for potential dates online. Think back to when Facebook and social networks were nonexistent… there was no such thing as snooping around online, clicking through photos and formulating judgments based on the information provided online. In dating and love, courtship is an exciting time to enjoy the companionship and intimacy of another human – offline and not through texts! So, get off your bum and spice up your romantic life by making the effort to utilize old fashioned communication. Make that phone call instead of texting, grab a drink and have a nice conversation, go out on a limb – hand write and send a card (my parents were pen pals during their courtship with a new letter in the box each day!) These are things will add intrinsic value to your interpersonal relationships.

3. Chivalry is not dead!

This is something I can’t tell my clients enough, both for the men and women. We are living in a time when women are becoming increasingly independent, hard working and highly respected professionally. Some women may feel as if they’re betraying their strong female identity by allowing a man to play the dominant role. Truth is, women still crave ultra-traditional ways of dating – they want to be pursued, protected, and cared for by their partners.

So, for men – look to the men in your past generations and incorporate some good old-fashioned courtship into the mix. Does this mean the women you date will be any less brainy and independent? Absolutely not. It is possible to have a well-rounded, intelligent and strong woman who will greatly appreciate a true, stand-up and chivalrous gentleman. That means, take initiative to make decisions and ask her out, follow through with what you say (don’t be flakey), open doors for her wherever you go, pay for dinner, listen and take care of her and don’t forget the sweet gestures from time-to-time. A real woman will appreciate and even reciprocate!

For women, there’s no harm in swooning just a little when your man is kicking it old school by treating you like a lady.  Though it’s been a long time since women have typically needed to be fully supported by men, admittedly those qualities are still innately attractive. Furthermore, when he plans a date, compliments you, or helps you with a problem – it’s powerful because on an unconscious level, it shows his ability to take charge and his staying power in the relationship. Ladies, swoon on!

The good old days are back my friends.

And when it comes to dating and love, backward is the way forward.

​Gentlemen, is your game on point?

Confident or arrogant? What she thinks.

We all know there is a very fine line between the two and I’d like to share some of what I’m hearing from our female clients and friends of Linx.

Sure, women are visual but probably not as visual as you think especially in comparison to their male counterparts (generally speaking). When it comes to external appearance, education, profession and interests; every woman has their “head turner” and sweet spot attributes but what I hear consistently what they desire in a match is confidence.

What I’ve learned is that there really is no right or wrong “technique” when it comes to being confident in regards to dating. Often it’s worth thinking about the less obvious ways to “appear” confident including doing things you wouldn’t normally do (or are fearful of) – when dating.

We suggest getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things; such as going dancing (even if you have 2 left feet), karaoke-ing, or a cooking class (even if your idea of cooking is the Whole Foods salad bar). Women find it very sexy when a man can own up to the things in which he “can’t do” but tries anyway with charisma and has fun doing so. It’s almost as if he doesn’t really care how he looks. He can be that goofball guy and laugh at himself in the process. That is uber sexy! He doesn’t have to be the show-off guy or know-it-all, instead he can admit that he’s never picked up a microphone to karaoke or diced a legume in his life.

Another key to being confident is just really being yourself (maybe too obvious?) Perhaps you haven’t been on a date in a very long time, you aren’t sure if you’re dressed appropriately or even talking about the “right” things on the first few dates. Perhaps you have deeper rooted fears related to dating, rejection, approaching,  and socializing. We hear the all too common feedback from a first date in that he grilled her with questions ala interrogation (yikes) or on the flip side seemed wishy-washy about restaurant choices, ordering, and lacked “umph” and gumption on the date. Can’t there be a equilibrium between the two?

Confidence and true success in dating can be achieved by anyone through practice and preparedness (dating is a skill), being authentic, and feeling comfortable in doing so. Women tell us they want a man who has a strength from within, not a guy who masks his weakness by using pickup lines or unwarranted arrogance… genuine and lasting confidence stems from truly being you and feeling good in your own skin.
Once you have a strong understanding of who you are, and believing that you are enough, any insecurities you have regarding dating will fall by the wayside.  When dating, be honest and focus on what you are really seeking in a significant other and be proud of what you bring to the table and simply be you, because she will. Remember women love that guy who isn’t trying to be someone else. He’s funny, a gentleman, has a wide range of interesting date conversation topics ready, and if he is feeling “it”, he asks her out at the end of date 1.  That is confidence in a nutshell.

Spring, Linx Babies, New Clients

This has been an exciting week at Linx. Many new clients and finding out another Linx couple had a baby this week…..a gorgeous little girl! I’m so excited for them. Congrats! I look forward to meeting her in May.

Our featured new clients this week include a Caucasian, slender, pretty, leggy blond who’s in her  late 20’s, Stanford educated, and working in finance. She’s super down-to-earth, very athletic and sporty. Literally striking the perfect balance that guys love of ‘can get dirty and actually enjoy camping’ or look stunning in heels and a dress.  Her match is a guy who is brainy, confident, adventurous, and leads his life with high integrity. She is open to all heritages but you must be fit, healthy, and into all sports. 

Our next featured new client is a brainy 30-year-old MD female who is educated from an Ivy equivalent. She loves what she does helping others as a doctor and you will find this gorgeous dark-haired skinny girl to be strong, confident, opinionated, uber smart, and grounded. She’s a sweetheart but no wall flower! She loves tall Indian guys who are fit but she is open on ethnicity. Her match is loyal, sarcastic & witty, intellectual, and family centric. Post graduate education is a must.

Our next featured client is an articulate and confident mid 30’s Caucasian guy who is 6’2″, fit, and cute! He’s extremely grounded, down to earth, funny, and knows how to balance work and personal life well. He works in tech and is well-educated including his MBA. Super well-rounded and always up for anything at least once, you will find this catch to be adventurous, kind, and a great conversationalist with pretty much anyone he encounters. His match is the perfect mix of intellect meets witty. She is any ethnicity under 33 years old, fit, and sexy.

Our next featured client is late 20’s 6’3″ and handsome Asian American man who is Stanford educated for undergraduate and post-graduate work. He works in finance and we would consider him to be “the good guy.” He is super easy-going, amicable, warm-hearted, and very friendly. No hidden agendas with this young man. He is well rounded and loves dancing, grilling for friends, and travel. His match is max 29 years old, slender, and a classic beauty. She is social, willing to compromise (but has a strong sense of self), romantic, and a life-long learner like he is.

Email us if you would like to be considered to meet any of these incredible Linx members! amy@linxdating.com

Stunning Linx Couple Weds in Laguna Niguel

I had the absolute pleasure of witnessing a gorgeous Linx VIP client wedding this past weekend in Laguna.

The views were spectacular and the decor an ethereal theme blending a love of the water, with blues, silver accents, and creams. Flowers literally spilled in every direction a guest looked, the drinks were creative and strong, cake moist and topped with a silver pretty “B” for their last name on each cake slice.

The toasts were sweet, elderly parents on both sides were in attendance, vows incredibly loving, and bride absolutely radiant in the most lavish princess gown embellished with crystals and with countless layers of ivory tulle. Her make-up was perfectly on point, hair studded with little crystal flowers, and veil long and elegant. The groom wore a dapper black tuxedo, his sons were the groomsmen.

My couple had planned to go to French Polynesia the day after the wedding but had to cancel due to dangerous weather. Not to worry as they have a 3 month (yes that is correct), 3 month-long honeymoon touring the tropics, Europe, and much more. Imagine packing for that (especially considering they have a lot of fancy affairs to attend.)

Our featured song for this entry is Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers Bustin’ Loose.

A princess absolutely radiant- a true vision! Can you believe her beauty?

What a wonderful journey it has been representing both clients. It goes to show you can absolutely fall in love after 50 years old and find your soul mate through Linx.

Besides the highlight of the entire wedding weekend was bringing our new pup, Marshall, to the hotel. We couldn’t help but notice a fun photo booth stationed nearby for wedding guests to snap silly pics with an array of props. I suggested we sneak Marsh man into the booth and well…he was a hit! We love our little pup and he especially loved his king hat for the pic.

This is the second time we have heard this insanely good ACDC singer perform. A guest at wedding, he surprised the happy couple with their favorite hits. Dancing was a blast! Everyone clearly got a little nuts on the dance floor.

The following morning, guests enjoyed a leisurely brunch hosted by the happy couple, sipping much needed coffee and saying our goodbyes to new and old friends.

Would you like to be a match for a Linx VIP?  http://linxdating.com/meetvip.html  or be our next VIP client? http://linxdating.com/presentvip.html

It would be my absolute pleasure to screen you to discover if you are a good fit for our VIP program. Maybe your wedding will be next?!