My business is my baby. And it’s like my husband’s stepchild. Being married many years now, the inevitable question always comes up in conversation – when am I having a baby?
I’m a big believer that the timing needs to be perfectly right on all fronts and that a couple needs to be totally ready. Though there is probably not ever a “right” time, I disagree that “you’re never ready.” I think you’d better be ready before you take on that kind of responsibility and go on that journey!
My tried and true excuse has been that my business is my baby that requires endless amounts of my time… although there are no diaper changes as such, there is an infinite amount of crap to deal with constantly as a business owner and, although there are no feeding times and nursing, a heck of a lot of nurturing goes into managing my relationships with my clients, as well as managing their complex relationships that stem from their Linx introductions.
As a business owner who still probably pours too much time into work and not enough into “me” and “couple time” with my husband, I have learned to balance my life better. I make sure to get my workouts in and to keep up with friendships as best as I can. And, luckily, I have a similarly driven husband who loves my business like his own baby, and who has his own multiple business babies. We get each other and relate that way and revel in being the proud parents that we are.
Every so often, I get a taste of what it might be like when my husband and I cross that bridge into true parenthood.
Today, I made some time for myself, and did a walk with a friend, Jessica, who is a new mom to a beautiful little 8-week old, Stella. I carefully observed the amount of love and attention that Jess poured on the little monkey who is just the most precious bundle of love in the whole world.
I quickly learned about “mommy code.” I took over and helped Jess out by carrying Stella and was walking with her closely draped over my shoulder swaddled in a soft fuzzy blankie when other moms walked by and simply gave the “mom nod” to me signaling “we get it” and “we’re in the same club.”
I also observed another fascinating, seemingly shocking thing. At a store, as I opened a door myself while holding Stella (not easy by the way!), an older man literally breezed through the doorway and looked at me saying “thank you.” As Cher would say in Clueless, “as if!” I was floored that this crotchety old man didn’t have the social graces to hold the door open for me, first of all, and with a baby, mind you! I asked Jessica if this was common and she said not entirely, but I’m sure I’d be blown away at the number of people who were rude and had had a lack of awareness when she was totally preggos.
At the end of the walking date, I was struck that, in dating, just as in caring for a baby, inevitably along the way you deal with a lot of hiccups/dirty diapers/vomit (such as shitty dates) that require coddling by moms/siblings/friends, but ultimate fulfillment comes from the journey of finding love and nurturing from the perfect match just as it comes from the entire experience of parenting.