How to shed your dude image in front of the ladies

Guys believe me, we understand when you hang out with your friends you say and act differently when around us. We actually love you for it, however in the beginning of a relationship please try to keep ‘the dude’ with your friends.

When we go on dates with a seemingly great catch nothing is a bigger turn off when called “dude.” For instance “Dude did you just see that guy face plant into the wall”, while we are trying to have an intimate dinner conversation. That is an instant “oh no what did I get myself into” moment, even if you didn’t mean it to sound like you were talking to your friends. In this scenario, we will just think of you as a frat boy who can’t seem to grow up.

Another way to show us you are a genuine good guy is when a pretty girl strides by our table especially on the first date try your hardest not to gawk and keep your eyes on ours. This will show us you are not interested in the outside world but in our conversation. If you turn the tables, I bet you’d be pretty ticked off.

Women love a man who can open doors, pull our chairs out, and carry our heavy shopping bags. However we do not like when a man orders our food for us at restaurants. (Especially on the first couple dates) When you have been dating awhile it’s perceived as chivalrous and sensitive, but when you are on a first date it can seem pushy and presumptuous. You may know that this dish is AMAZING and you really want her to try it, in that case you can suggest it to her and order it yourself so she can taste it. That is a wonderful way of showing a women that you are cultured not just a pushy guy who thinks he knows best.

Dress the part, nothing tells a women more about a man than how he dresses. Remember it is a reflection on how you see yourself. Try a nice pair of shoes with dress pants and cool drew shirt- think Etro for edgy or Thomas Pink for a more conservative preppy look. For a more laid back date, try a nice black t-shirt and a great tailored pair of jeans with cool kicks. Just please whatever you do try not to wear your high school wrestling shirt with jorts (jean shorts for those not familiar with this tragic piece of clothing) and a pair of flip flops. And try to compliment your date on her attire, many of us girls put a lot of effort into how we look (think mani, pedi, new lip gloss, dry cleaned cute dress, hair blown-out) that it is always nice to get a compliment from your date. 

Last but not least: try to keep your cell phone in your pocket for the whole date. It can be disheartening and show us that you don’t really care what your date is saying. Suspend everything else around you and focus on just the two of us!

And always remember “The dude abides”


This post was written by Valerie H, staff at Linx

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