We tend to live our lives where we become creatures of habit and routine. Come 7am it is the same old pattern of start the coffee maker, toast some bread, brush teeth, and mosey on into work scratching our eyes tired from the lack of sleep from your neighbor moving stuff above you in his apartment at 1:00am. At 3:00pm after a series of meetings, you are feeling your energy level depleted and head for the kitchen to grab a quick fix of a handful of M & Ms and diet coke. At 5:00pm you head to your co-workers happy hour going away party, eat some fried calamari and have a tequilla shot, saunter home after some hugs and get on email. Repeat this Monday through Friday with a few slight variations.
As you keep repeating this same pattern with work Monday through Friday and then stick to the same familiar routines on the weekends- crash hard on Friday snuggled in bed with your favorite pajamas and a good movie, wake up rested Saturday and head to your friends house for a BBQ, you might wonder why you aren’t meeting people and are still single!
You need to break-up your oh so familiar routine from creature of habit to explorer and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone to see what happens. There are a few basic ways you can do this starting with how you begin your day. For one, for 30 days completely bust your butt to get to the gym for an early AM workout. If you are working market hours forget this plan but if you are like most of us and can roll in at 8:00am or 9:00am, this is for you. Head to your gym and take a 6:30am spin class. It will be coed and absolutely packed with serious fitness types. Guys and girls who are into their bodies and staying in shape. Make sure you look good- get some new duds to stand out a little bit and feel good when you are getting there at that ungodly hour! When you are doing this, you are already shaking you your routine and creating new avenues to meet eligible and like-minded folks! This is how it happens. Trust me. Plus you will feel so energized for your work day and on fire! Your new energy level will project an image of confidence and that will in return be appealing for people who come into your life.
At the gym, be friendly. All you have you do is smile and strike up a conversation with someone who is interesting and maybe on a basic level attractive to you. You don’t need to marry this person but you do need to be friendly. You never know, that person could be the conduit to introducing you to his or her very eligible and new-to-town sibling. The magic is starting to happen by stepping outside of your rut and meeting people that you definitely would not be meeting otherwise! That is precisely what this exercise is all about.
Mix up your mode of transport to work too! If you take the bus, walk, if you walk, train it…you get my point. If you can’t do this, try at least one new mode of transportation once a week. Ride your bike, walk, run, hop, skip your way to happiness and seeing who you might bump into on your way to work. Wear new colors too. If you error on the Depeche Mode or Euro look wearing all black…wear color. If you are a female wearing lots of make-up, try a more subtle look. If you are a guy who always wears jeans, sport some khakis. These tiny changes are baby stepping stones to a larger way to see a new JOLT in activity in your life. Trust me, I have done this and continue to do this in my life.
At work if you have an intranet for co-workers, ask your HR manager if you could place a lunch time activity on there for interested and like-minded people. Maybe this is cards at 12:00pm in the lunchroom, chess, a new coed book club you will start. I’m not saying to date your colleagues but what I am advocating is meeting new people and changing your routines that can often make you feel unproductive and bored too!
After work is a glorious time to seriously shift your habits. If you used to head home after the happy hour, stay out. Push yourself to the limits of what you can stand socially and energy wise. This is going to be a pretty big learning curve and something that you might fight for the first week. You will be considerably tired from a long work day but try this for one month.
Bookstores are excellent ways to put yourself out there and flirt with some hottie in the aisle next to you. Smile and ask how they like that author. If you don’t know the author who cares! What are you going to lose? Make it up, giggle, and strike up on conversation with someone who enjoys literature too. Beyond bookstores, public walking trails, malls, and places where the types of people you might like would hang out are ideal. If you like jocks- a climbing gym….if you weight and image conscious girls head to Victoria’s Secret….if you like uber geek….google a rocket club where geeks with a ton of money shoot rockets from the desert. You might be laughing but these are the sorts of things I did when I felt like my dating life was in a total rut and I wasn’t meeting anyone new.
I have given you so many ideas that you should create a social calendar of the ways you will shift your routines to create new change which will in return yield a rolodex of new contacts, potential love interests, and joy into your life. I have many other ideas too. So email me!