Communication in the early stages of dating! Call vs. text!

I am surprised how often clients and friends let so much time pass from date one to date two or after a great second date lining up date three. Remember that these are really critical dates to determine if there is long-term potential. If your goals are not relationship and marriage minded, this isn’t a post for you. Lots of you seem to make up excuses, “Amy, work got really busy as we are gearing up for a huge acquisition…but yeah she is really cool and I’m for sure game for a second date” or “Yeah I didn’t return his phone calls last week cause I felt like I was catching a flu…I guess I should have called back since it was 10 days ago.”

My married couples and lots of you in exclusive relationships made a major point to get serious and not waste time by letting too much time go by in between dates. I recall one lovely couple where they went out on a Saturday and he called the next morning on Sunday at the crack of dawn literally waking her up because he “had to see her today!” Talk about a man on a hunt and in pursuit mode.

For the women out there, I hear a lot of you complain about guys texting asking you out for dates and resorting to this lazy very modern way of getting in touch. Believe me I am so old-fashioned that I don’t think anyone should text unless in a situation where it is minutes before the date as you might not know what he or she looks like…for instance, “see you in front of the restaurant in 10 minutes…I am wearing a blue shirt and tan pants.”

At the same time, I get feedback from you guys who “lose the mojo” for their date when she texts him back to return what was his phone call to reach out and get to know her by way of phone. I have heard this in a pretty high volume lately and I think it goes to show that the clients I work with really give this experience their ALL. A text feels cold, it feels distant, and it can feel like you aren’t meeting your match half way especially if he or she has called you.

Remember that we are living in a modern era but the generations of our parents and our grandparents, and their parents did things differently. It was about courtship, a slower pace of communication, I’d argue less information available and revealed, and stating your intentions so there were no hidden agendas or surprises.  Don’t forget where we all came from!

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